Luci Belle's birth story - part 1.

 She loves fluffy blankets, her Little Lamb bouncer seat, and the music of Rosie Thomas.  While she is sleeping, I gaze at her little lips shaped like a bow and her subtle Asian eyes and cannot believe our sweet daughter has only been here for a little over two weeks.

Today, I sit here thankful for the people who told me, "Create your birth plan, but then be prepared to hold it loosely" because Luci Belle's birth didn't quite go as expected.  Even before I became pregnant, I had always hoped to have a natural birth at a birthing center.  So I was glad to find the Allen Birthing Center and their amazing team of nurse-midwives who deliver babies in a cozy yellow Victorian house just north of Dallas.  I looked forward to every one of my prenatal appointments, soaking up the peaceful vibe in that house where natural birth is regarded as totally normal and something to be respected, enjoyed, and embraced.  But then on Thursday, July 8th...

Early Labor
My labor began around 8am when I awoke, went to the bathroom, and immediately afterwards, felt like I had wet my pants.  That is when my water broke, not as a gush but as a slow leak that went all throughout the day.  I called the birthing center, and they told me to come in that afternoon to be checked.  I was having some contractions, just kind of crampy ones in my lower abdomen.  When I was checked that afternoon, I was 2 cm dilated and almost 100% effaced.  The plan was to go back to the birthing center that night at 10pm unless I went into full-blown labor before that.  Amy, the midwife on duty, explained that I would need to take an antibiotic that evening since my water had already broken and they wanted to prevent any chance of infection until the baby was born.  Most hospitals and birthing centers won't let you go longer than 24 hours with your water broken before delivering a baby, but my midwives were willing to let me go longer if I had the antibiotic.

That night at 10pm, we went to the birthing center for the IV antibiotic, and I was having much stronger contractions but could still easily have a conversation through them.  The plan from there was for us to come back to the birthing center at 7am the next morning - Friday, July 9th - for another dose of antibiotics unless things started to progress in the middle of the night.

Soon after we returned home late that night, Steven and I went to bed to try to get some rest, but rest I did not get...for the next few hours, the contractions picked up to the point that I was having to concentrate and breathe through them.  They were 40 seconds to a minute long, but the timing was erratic - some were 4 minutes apart, then 6 minutes apart, then 3 minutes apart, totally unpredictable.  But by 2:30am, I was feeling very uncomfortable.  We excitedly and anxiously made sure all our bags were packed and piled in the car, deciding to head to the birth center in the middle of the night rather than wait to drive in the morning commuter traffic. {Contractions in the car in Dallas rush hour?  Uh, no thanks.}

When we arrived at the birth center around 3am on the 9th, midwife Amy let us get settled into the peaceful birthing bedroom with the 4-poster bed.  Steven and I got under the covers, and he held me while I continued breathing through the contractions.

This is where things start to get a little blurry in my mind...

Fighting For It
I know at some point, daylight came, and the new midwife on duty, Kathleen, gave me another round of antibiotics.  She reminded me we were past 24 hours now since my water had broken but encouraged me that it was totally possible to have this baby by the afternoon.  She promised to use every natural method she could to move things along and help my body open up. However, she was honest with us and let us know that if I wasn't ready to push by the afternoon, we would have to do a hospital transfer.  It would then be about 30 hours since my water had broken.

I vaguely remember drinking castor oil mixed in raspberry leaf tea, taking all kinds of herbal pills, walking 'round and 'round the block with my eyes closed as I gripped Steven's shoulders through each contraction.  I heard his voice in the background as he called close friends asking them to pray that my body would open up so we wouldn't have to go to the hospital.  I remember walking up and down the grand staircase inside the birth center, working through contractions on the birthing ball and then on the bed on my hands and knees, and running to the bathroom to throw up.  I remember being checked and still being only at 2/3cm and asking Kathleen, "If I make it to 5 cm, can I get in the birthing tub?"  She said yes, and the thought of floating in that warm water inspired me to keep going.  At some point, I finally made it to 5 cm and got in the tub. 

But what I remember most is the worship, the love, the kindness in the room.  All throughout the day, my husband fought alongside me, whispered in my ear, "You can do this...you are a strong woman...," held me tightly as we listened to worship music and marveled at the strength with which my body was trying to birth this baby. I remember the song "Lead of Love" by Caedmon's Call being played and beginning to weep as scenes from my life over the last 10+ years passed before me, culminating in this wonderful day. "I just feel so happy," I said to Steven, as he hugged me tighter through the pain. Pain cleanses you, strips you.  It forces out any unsurfaced fears and also makes the joy that much richer.

There were so many beautiful moments, and we experienced them together, quietly and reverently in that dark bedroom as midwife Kathleen sat in the wings respectfully with her head bowed, letting us work through it together.

In the end though, my body just would not open up.  Just days before my labor began, apparently our baby had somehow turned sunny-side-up which was giving me very painful "back labor."  It brought new meaning to one of my favorite scenes in the movie Baby Mama when Amy Poehler's character is being wheeled into the hospital yelling, "It feels like I'm sh*tting a knife!"  The back labor, along with the baby's head being slightly tilted rather than straight down, is probably what was making me not progress.  After being in the birthing tub for at least an hour, Kathleen checked me again and...I was still only 5cm.  I later learned that when she went downstairs to call the doctor and tell him we were coming to the hospital, she cried.  She so wanted us to be able to have our natural birth.

I'll admit, Steven and I were pretty deflated when we got in the car to transfer to the hospital, Allen Presbyterian, which was just a few minutes away.  How would they treat us?  Would they respect our desires to have as natural of an experience as possible? 

To be continued...

Welcome to the world, Luci Isabelle Bailey!

We would like to introduce you to our precious little daughter who entered the world on July 9th at 8:08pm! 

"I think babies really do make you believe in God.  They make you believe in God because there's something just beyond understanding about their freshness and fragility and their smell and their toes.  When they take their first breaths, and when they land, floppy and slippery, on your chest under the bright overhead light in an otherwise dim delivery room, when you watch their tiny sleeping selves, when you hear their thin wild animal cries, you know, you just know in your guts that God is real, and that babies have been with him more recently, have come more directly from him than our worn-out old selves have." ~ Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

More details to come...

Our little girl's room.

The nursery is ready!

It's been so incredibly fun expressing my creativity in this way.  Thanks to the help of several friends and family members, it's come together just as I had imagined.  So many of the things in her room were gifts or passed down from generation to generation, and I love that.

We still don't have the crib, but she'll be sleeping in this co-sleeper next to our bed for awhile anyway.  In the meantime I'm hoping to find one used on Craigslist.

So without further ado, here is a little tour.

When you open the door, this is the view in front of you and to the right.  First, you'll see the loveseat we brought in from the living room, and hanging above it, our homemade "lamp" from the parasol I carried in Suz's wedding that my husband rigged to hang from the ceiling.  The lovely pillows were handmade by my fellow pregnant friend, Bre.  On the floor is my orange canvas diaper bag, packed and ready to go!  The two-toned yellow rug was a great find on Overstock.com.

The front sides of the pillows are made from Anna Maria Horner's "Drawing Room" fabric...

Bre then added orange and pink pom-pom edging from JoAnn's and different fabrics on the back from Amy Butler and Heather Bailey.

To the left of the love seat is a rustic side table holding a vase of branches that was truly a collaborative effort...the branches are from my friend Autumn's wedding, and they are adorned with some paper birds and owls from another friend Robyn's wedding, as well as some birds from one of my baby showers.  They have beautiful blessings written on the back that I'm sure I'll need for encouragement during some late nights! 

To the right of the loveseat, I created a wall collage with a mix of meaningful photos and illustrations, including two bird drawings that Steven did as a child.  When his mom gave them to me, I knew they'd be perfect to frame in the room!

One hook holds a soft bin from IKEA filled with supplies I might need while nursing, and the other is perfect for displaying cute outfits, like this tiny pink dress...

On the floor, "Sophie La Girafe" and her friends sit in a soft, colorful bin from The Container Store.

Both of the dressers in the room were from my brother's old baby furniture.  Here's one holding family photos and a cute owl bank from Etsy.  I spraypainted the original drawer pulls white and alternated them with yellow knobs from a salvage store.

Next comes the closet which, thanks to many generous gifts and hand-me-downs from friends, is stocked!  Some of the most precious items are my very own baby dresses that my mom has saved all these years.

On one side of the door, this IKEA cabinet is perfect for storing odds 'n ends, wonderful childrens' books, and showcasing Steven's baby shoes.  Most of the books are lovingly worn, because they are the exact ones my mother read to me - The Llama's Pajamas, Sammy the Seal, and Corderoy, to name a few.

On the other side of the door is this dresser which folds out into a changing table. The "It Is Going To Be OK" illustration is a reminder I'll probably need quite a bit in this particular location!

Now, for the last wall.  Last night, our dear friends Justin & Autumn decided to come over and give a wonderful gift - painting a mural, just like the wall decal I liked from Etsy.  Our version is a lot more wispy and soft, and I love how it turned out!   The crib will eventually go on this wall.

Inside that bassinet, which my brother used for all three of his children, is her first stuffed animal - a soft little lamb from my dad.  It's from Williamsburg, VA, which was our family vacation spot for eleven years. The lamb rests against a crocheted pillow that was mine as a baby.

And finally, just for fun, here's the room by night.  I think the parasol makes a very enchanting lamp, don't you?  It's so peaceful that Steven and I like to come in here and sit and wonder what it'll be like to hold our baby girl in a very short time...

Now, all we need is HER!

A healing experience.

I abused it, I hated it, I criticized it, I tried to make it shrink and look better by adorning it with slimming clothes. I took pride in it when it was satisfyingly "small" and felt insecure about it when it was not "small enough."  I was not grateful for the body I was given. 

And then one day, it did a miraculous thing.

One day, I found out a human was being built from two cells inside this body, the very one I had mistreated and criticized and abused.  Instead of reaping what I had sown, I was given grace - the honor of being the vessel to another human life.

Perhaps I'm just hormonal, but I am moved to tears when I think about how I've been given so much more than I deserve.  I thought I would just endure pregnancy, but instead I've been enthralled by what a truly delicate and loving and humbling process it is.

 "What I didn't expect was that right from the beginning, the baby would occupy so much of my mind and spirit.  I knew it would occupy my body, but I was surprised by how deeply it took root in my thoughts and prayers and dreams.  I was never unaware of it.  I never forgot about it, never woke up surprised by my big belly.  It is much more an active thing than I thought, a thing to do, to care for, to think about.  I thought it happened to you, and then at some point a baby came and that's when the life change began. But that's not the case at all."

~ Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

Whatever happens from here, I know that this, my first pregnancy, has been a healing experience for me.  And I could not be more grateful to be the recipient of that grace.

Reflections at 38 weeks.

• I no longer have ankles; I have cankles.
• There's just no use for modesty anymore.  I'm going to be totally transparent here and say that the other morning, I got out of bed and was walking around the house in this "outfit":  Totally naked on top, huge belly, underwear hanging on by a thread, and...red Old Navy flip-flops on my feet.  I walked casually into the kitchen, and my husband burst out laughing and said, "Wow.  This...is...rich."  What else is there to say?  
• Swimming is like heaven.  It feels wonderful to be weightless for a few precious moments.
• Remember that adorable pedicure I got a few weeks ago?  It doesn't look so pretty anymore :(.  Sorry, Amy.
• I cannot wait to see what this little girl's personality is like!  She sticks her butt out all the time - I feel my belly shifting and then look down and it's practically flat on one side and a huge lump on the other.
• I am still amazed when I realize that a complete human being is about to come out of my body, one that began with just two microscopic cells.  Truly a miracle...
• People are just so fascinated with pregnant women, even complete strangers.  And yet pregnancy is one of the most common things that happens in the entire world!
• Eggs, I love you.  My entire pregnancy you never let me down.
• I'm shocked that I still don't have any stretch marks on my belly.  My midwife said it's hereditary, but I bet all the olive oil I've rubbed on it hasn't hurt either!

I love my daddy.

As my own husband is about to become a dad anytime now, I appreciate even more all that my dad has done for me, and all that he is!

Barefoot Contessa's plum tart.

Almost 38 weeks pregnant, and all I want to do is bake.  Luckily, a friend of ours dropped by our house Monday night bearing a wonderful gift from his hometown of Cut and Shoot, TX {yes, you read that right} - a huge ziploc bag full of Texas plums!  What to do with all these juicy little guys? There was no way we could eat them all before they spoiled, so I decided to make Ina Garten's plum tart.

Being at the end of my pregnancy, I didn't want to consume too much sugar or other unhealthy stuff, so I slightly modified the recipe.  I hope you enjoy it!  You could probably use the same recipe and substitute another stone fruit if you'd like, such as peaches.  YUM!

Barefoot Contessa's Plum Tart
from FoodNetwork.com

Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour {I used spelt flour}
3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts {I used organic raw walnuts}
3/4 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed {I used Rapadura sugar, which is less processed and also rich in iron- score!}
1 1/2 sticks cold unsalted butter, diced
1 egg yolk
2 pounds firm, ripe Italian prune plums, pitted and quartered lengthwise {I don't know what Italian prune plums are, but the ones I used were Texan :)}

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Then, prepare the plums...

Next, dice the butter. Make sure it's very cold and straight out of the fridge.

Combine the flour, walnuts, and sugar in a food processor or mixer. Add the butter and the egg yolk.

Pulse in food processor, or mix with an electric mixer, until crumbly. It doesn't take long!

Press 1 1/2 cups of the crumb mixture in an even layer into the bottom of a 9 1/2-inch springform or tart pan.

Arrange the plums in the pan, skin side down, to form a flower pattern; begin at the outside and work your way in.

Finally, sprinkle the rest of the crumb mixture evenly over the plums.

Bake the tart for 40 to 50 minutes, or until it's lightly browned and the plum juices are bubbling. Remove from the oven and cool for 10 minutes. Remove from the pan and transfer the tart to a flat plate. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Add a dollop of chocolate ice cream for my hubby...

...And vanilla bean coconut milk ice cream for me.

Lunch, delivered.

I had to share this delectable lunch that was just hand-delivered to my desk by my husband...

It's a grilled Texas tomato sandwich on locally-made sourdough with mayo, sea salt, cracked pepper...and Bubbies pickles, of course!

Y U M.

and Y U M.

Nighttime picnic.

"Then followed that beautiful season... Summer....
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape
Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It was one of those summer nights when you just knew you were making a memory.  As the light was lowering in the sky, we gathered at our favorite place in Dallas, Southern Methodist University's campus, to set up a nighttime picnic.  It was Terrica's 28th birthday, and oh, how she loves picnics.  So before she arrived, Steven, our friend Michelle, and I set up a soft plaid blanket surrounded by lanterns, right near the fountain so we could feel its cool mist. 

Ever since living in Dallas, SMU's campus has been a safe haven for us, like our own private, beautiful park.  There is barely ever anyone there, especially at night.  The fountains that shine like gems and the enormous old pecan trees that form canopies over the squishy grass all say, "I am Dallas' best kept secret."

As the sun started to set, the fountain in the center of campus glowed even more brilliantly...

After a little while, Terrica, her husband Josh, and our friend Autumn all arrived, straight from yoga class, and we shared our picnic-y goodies.  Juicy, sweet watermelon, farm cheese, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and for Terrica's birthday "cake" - Hail Merry Chocolate Tarts.  Mmmmm.  Take a bite, pass it on, take a bite, pass it on.

But mostly we just enjoyed the breezy evening, the cool mist spritzing us from the fountain, and being silly.

Autumn & Michelle with my buddha belly. Please notice the drip of watermelon juice about halfway down :)

Steven, Autumn, me and part of Michelle's head :)

Terrica's husband, Josh

It was a beautiful evening of community, celebrating Terrica's life - one that we are definitely blessed to have...

Terrica & Josh

...And an evening treasuring these last moments before our little girl arrives.

Nursery progress - sneak preview...

With much help from friends, family, and my husband, the master plan for the nursery is coming along! Talk about the nick of time - only 30 days left {if not less}!

I absolutely love expressing my creativity in this way, preparing a place for our little daughter.  Stay tuned for the completed room soon...