Recapturing "Us."

/

My latest post is up on the JellyTelly blog, and it's a pretty personal one.  I hope it helps some of you who are struggling or wondering how to continue to make time for your spouse and protect your marriage in the midst of crazy schedules, family changes, and just the challenges of life.

Yesterday, my husband and I drove over the Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge in Dallas into our neighborhood as the sun was starting to get low in the sky.  It was just the two of us in our VW Rabbit, and an old-school mix CD blasted “Sing” by Jars of Clay as we cruised with the sunroof and windows open.  As my hair flew all over my face, I grabbed his hand and closed my eyes and felt so thankful for that moment, for the few hours we had just spent away, just us... {continue reading}

You at THREE: things I want to remember.

/

Luci Belle,

On the eve of your 3rd birthday, you started a sentence with, "Last night, when I was wittle..." And that pretty much sums up how quickly you're growing up, seemingly overnight.  

It's been a few months since you turned 3, and I don't want to forget this magical age.  Here are some fun details about your life right now... 

  • One day, we were reading a Dora book about occupations and you said, "When I grow up, I wanna be a soccer ball."  Now you've changed it to say you want to grow up and be a "Doctor Policeman."   
  • Your version of entertainment: "Now I'm going to sing you a song about butterflies and kitty cat poo-poos."
  • You love playing pretend, but you're quick to tell us, "I'm not really a lion, just a PRETEND lion."
  • Everything in your life apparently happens "next weekend" whether it's really tomorrow, or yesterday, or two months ago.  Example: On our flight back to Texas from New Jersey this summer, you could see the moon and asked if we would be flying high enough to go to the moon today. I told you it was really really high in the sky so probably not. You said, "That's ok. We can go to the moon next weekend."
  • The other day you were on a playdate with a friend and both of us moms were in the other room.  We overheard you and your friend "chatting" at the kitchen table while you had a snack.  "I'm three!" you exclaimed.  Your friend said, "No, I'm three!"  You answered, "You're three and I'm three, and that's the truth!"
  • It's still hard to get you to eat your veggies but the other day, you actually asked me for a green smoothie. “Mommy, you put LEAVES in it,” you explained.  You've also become very good at cutting cucumbers and lettuce for salad and - bonus - now you actually wants to eat salad because you made it.

  • You want to do everything by yourself.  Here's one of my favorite photos of you feeding the birds by yourself at Mimi and Papa's house...

  • After I gave you apples and pancakes for breakfast one morning, you said, "I don't want to eat apples right now. I'm gonna wait till after Christmas."
  • The other day I got stressed about something and you put your hands on my shoulders and said, "Just a-lax (relax), okay?  Take a deep breath."
  • You've had to endure your Mommy's morning sickness for a long time now, but it doesn't faze you anymore. One morning as I ran to the bathroom, you said, "Go ahead and frow up, Mommy. I'm gonna eat my breakfast."
  • You're such an affectionate, loving child...always have been.  But now it's even sweeter when all of a sudden out of the blue, you call me from the next room and then tell me, "I forgot to give you a kiss and a hug!"
  • The other day you called to us from the playroom and your Daddy replied, “Sorry, we can’t come right now!  I’m giving Mommy a kiss.”  You exclaimed, “Wait, I wanna see!” and came dashing into the room and stood there staring at us with a shy, happy grin.  Then last night, I overheard you saying to Daddy, “You, me and Mommy all love each other.  We’re all married.”  We then had to clarify and explain the meaning of marriage in the best way we could, but it made me happy to see you noticing expressions of love in our home.
  • I love your own phrases and lingo.  A few favorites lately: We put on our "binoculators" to see the birds in the trees and go to the "priocraptor" to get adjusted.  You started using the word "yesternight" (which I looked up and is actually a real word. Ha.)  And you said the other day, "When I was a little baby, I used to be a puppy."
  • You're getting better and better at playing on your own and I love finding you like this...

  • You would rather "read" books to us now than be read to.  You prefer our grownup books so you can flip through the pages and make up your own stories.
  • You absolutely love going to "Bible school" (Bible Study Fellowship kids' class) and are learning all the songs and stories.  Recently I found you quietly playing in the playroom, setting the table with your play food and singing, "God Is So Good."
  • In a few months, you're going to have a sister!  You insist that you can talk to your sister through my bellybutton and that she's going to be born by "just popping out" of my bellybutton.  I wish it were that easy, sweetie.

You fill our lives with so much joy, Luci Belle.  You make me laugh everyday.  You challenge me to be a better version of myself and to seek the Lord daily so I know how to parent you...and I still don't know sometimes.  I love learning and being on this journey together.

Love,

Mommy

It's another girl!

/

We were so convinced we were having a boy (darn you, pencil test!) that I asked the sonogram tech to check about 4 times!  But it's true...another Bailey girl is being added to the family sometime after New Year's. 

I've made it to 25 weeks and am still getting sick every morning, and after trying every natural remedy imaginable, am still dependent on medicine so I don't toss my cookies all day and night.  Sigh.  This little girl is giving me a run for my money, but we couldn't be more excited about adding another girl to our family and for Luci Belle to grow up with a sister.

What a precious gift from God...

Side view

Two little feet

View underneath...it's a girl!In related news, check out this absolutely beautiful Prayer For A Daughter written by Ann Voskamp...brought tears to my eyes. 

Upstate New York adventure.

/

Only 1.25 hours away from where I grew up in New Jersey is a land of green rolling hills, mountains, farmland as far as the eye can see, apple orchards, thick forests, and adorable small towns with great restaurants and cafés.  This year, we decided to spend 3 days in upstate New York and used the website HomeAway.com to book a private home surrounded by 40 acres of woods instead of a populated hotel.  We couldn't have been happier with the location!

First stop on our way upstate...Stone Barns outside of Tarrytown, NY - it's an impressive, sprawling center for food and agriculture that looks like the English countryside.  The land and buildings were donated by the Rockefellars.  When we arrived, we just strolled around for awhile freely - there are guided tours if you like, but you're free to just walk around and check things out on your own.  The wildflower garden was literally swarming with butterflies and bursting with bright red berries on the vines. 

We ate lunch at Blue Hill at Stone Barns, the café on site that sources their food from the pastures there at the agriculture center.  Those luscious local berries were used in that muffin you see below.  The whole meal was so simple and fresh.

Stone Barns as a whole was unbelievably beautiful.  I highly recommend a visit if you're ever in the area - and you can easily take a short train from NYC to Tarrytown then taxi over to the farm.  A great little half-day getaway.

Next stop...our rental house, The Woods Retreat, in a tiny hamlet called Accord, NY.  We ooh'd and ahh'd at the farmland we passed as we got closer and closer and then drew in our breath when we saw the driveway to our place...

It was literally our own isolated home in the woods, 5 miles off a main road, a country road at that.  All we could hear - literally - were birds and crickets and the wind rustling the trees.  Not the sound of a car for miles.

We saw the owner once when we got there so she could let us in, and that was the last we saw of her.  The kitchen was stocked with locally-roasted coffee, every type of pot, pan and utensil imaginable, and even some local ice cream in the freezer.  The entire house was built in a circular shape with an open sleeping loft/bedroom and bathroom up above...all hand-built by the owner's father from wood and stone.  Swoon.

The absolute best part was that we were surrounded practically 365 degrees by dense woods.  And all the windows had screens so we cranked them open and let the sounds of nature and the cool breeze flow through the house all day and night.  Coming from 110 degrees in Dallas, it was absolute heaven.

After exploring the house and grounds a bit, we headed to one of the picturesque local farm stands to get some fresh food to cook back at the house.

The rest of the weekend, we spent exploring the woods and surrounding towns.  A few of our favorites were funky New Paltz, NY and quaint Rhinebeck, NY.  I love the old buildings and the history of the northeast...

Lots of rainbows and hippie love in New Paltz

The Village Tea Room in New PaltzTerrapin Restaurant in Rhinebeck - inside an old church and home of one of the best meals I've ever had. The veggie burger was unreal, and that's hard to say about a veggie burger. Downtown Rhinebeck

Here are some of the places I recommend visiting if you're ever in the Hudson River Valley area...

Why I {still} need Africa.

/

It's been almost 7 years since I set my feet on African soil.  It's been over 3 years since I poured my heart and soul into my job at Mocha Club.  I left Mocha Club peacefully in 2010 after having my daughter and have never regretted that decision, but I do still dearly love this organization and my former co-workers who are now friends.

In 2008, while I was working for Mocha Club, we launched the "I Need Africa" (INA) campaign. It was born out of a sleepless night in Africa when my former boss (and founder of Mocha Club & fashionABLE), Barrett Ward, journaled some thoughts at 5am in Ethiopia one morning.  His words sparked a campaign to share a message:

We find that the more we continue to give to Africa, the more we receive, and we want to continue to challenge the perception that Africa needs only our pity and charity, and instead seek to reveal the truth that its people have much to offer.

With the hunch that this might resonate with others who've had a similar experience, Mocha Club took that journal entry and launched the original INA campaign later that year, with hundreds of bloggers sharing how Africa has impacted so many of us in similar but unique ways. 

Now, almost 5 years later, the INA message remains at the heart of all that Mocha Club does, so they have just relaunched "I Need Africa 2.0" to bring it back to the forefront.


So, I thought it was time for me to revisit why I {still} need Africa:

  • Prior to traveling to Africa in 2006, I indeed bought into the lie that "circumstances define happiness."  My entire life was based on things going a certain way - MY way.  But have you ever seen someone with AIDS burst out dancing in a room, for no apparent reason? 
  • Truthfully, I need the reminder.  In the busyness of my daily life in Dallas, I don't want to forget the way time stood still there, the way face-to-face moments with people were the priority.  I don't want to forget little Margret Harriet and how she cuddled in my lap and proudly wore the word "Jesus" on her forehead.  I don't want to forget what it sounded like the first time I heard the orphans' voices ringing out, singing hymns at 4 in the morning.  I don't want to forget the laughter of children in the midst of a stinking garbage pile in Kibera.  I don't want to forget.
  • The INA phrase "possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart" is something I've found to be absolutely true.  And as simply as we live here in this big city obsessed with botox and plastic surgery and designer clothing, it's still easy to get swept into the desire for bigger and better, for improving our current lot in life rather than being content with what is.  But it just ends up empty.  The less we have, the more peaceful I feel.

The other fun part is that Mocha Club has introduced some new exclusive INA 2.0 products to go with the campaign - a tshirt and scarf that you can get by either 1) joining Mocha Club, 2) getting another friend to join if you're already a member, or 3) just buying them in the Mocha Club store.

Love the shirt!  Even fits preggos.

I also couldn't resist this beautiful peace necklace...

Check out the video.  And see how it inspires you. 

Whether or not you've been there, I think we all need Africa in one way or another.

Jersey summer: here we go again...

/

On Friday morning, we head to New Jersey for almost the entire month of August.  Last year, I wasn't sure if it would be our last time to be able to do this, but we're blessed with the chance to embark on the journey again this year.  My husband has been working overtime at two jobs for awhile, and it's time for him to have a real break.  Luci Belle wakes up in the morning and after every nap asking, "Is it time to go to Mimi's house today?!"  We cannot wait to swim, swim, swim at the Madison Pool, visit the farmer's markets and drive through nearby towns in the countryside.  This year, Steven and I will also get an entire day in NYC all by ourselves which hasn't happened in years.  And our family of three will venture to the Hudson River Valley for a long weekend to stay at a private home in the woods.

On that note, I do have to be completely honest about something...I've had to face some ugly feelings about my body this summer, about how different it is already.  I feel so much bigger at this stage of pregnancy than I was last time.  I fear what people will think of me when they see how much my body has changed.  Blech.  It's a daily struggle to remind myself that the second pregnancy is different, and who cares what size I am because my most important job is growing a healthy baby.  And remember when I was so sick that I couldn't even leave the house for 2 months? 

So as I embark on many days ahead of squeezing into my maternity swimsuit, I need to state clearly in writing that I am not going to miss out on the best parts of summer.  These words serve as a great reminder...

"I'm going to live in the body God made me, not because it's perfect but because it's mine.  And I'm going to be thankful for health and for the ability to run and move and dance and swim.

And this is what I'm not going to do: I'm not going to hide.  I'm not going to bow out of things I love to do because I'm afraid people won't love me when they see my underbutt.

This is the promise I'm making: this summer, I'm not going to be ashamed of my body.  Or at the very least, I'm not going to let a lifetime of shame about my body get in the way of living in a rich, wild, grateful, wide-open way." ~ Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine

Truthfully, I'm disappointed that I still feel shame about my body, especially while pregnant.  And it's got to stop.  Now.  There's a whole bunch of summer left, and I'm going to make the most of it.

Here are a few of my favorite moments from last summer in New Jersey...

Help us bring the farm to Dallas!

/

I couldn't be more proud of our Urban Acres team (and my hubby!) for putting together this incredible video and campaign.  We're using the Kickstarter website to raise $30,000 by August 5th to build a one-of-a-kind farmstead in the heart of Dallas.  Our current market will move to the new location (still in our beloved neighborhood) and add features such as an open kitchen, Texas cheese counter, chicken coop, and aquaponics greenhouse.  I'm particularly excited about the outdoor patio with the communal farm table!

In case you're not familiar, Kickstarter is an "all-or-nothing" deal, so if we don't get $30,000 pledged by the deadline, we don't get any of the money.  Please, watch this short video and if you feel led to give at all to help us reach our goal, that's great!  You don't have to live in Dallas to contribute. 

And most importantly, thanks to all of you who have supported our dreams throughout the years!