My dear friend Lori so kindly gave me a wonderful book as a gift: When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. Could this book any more clearly speak to exactly where I am right now?
"Overhead a thickening of clouds wreathed everything in grayness. It was February, when the earth of South Carolina seemed mired in the dregs of winter. I had been walking for miles; I don't know how many. I could feel neither my toes inside my shoes nor the wind on my face. I could feel nothing at all but an intense aching in my soul.
For some months I had been lost in a baffling crisis of spirit. Back in the autumn I had awakened to a growing darkness and cacophony, as if something in the depths were crying out. A whole chorus of voices. Orphaned voices. They seemed to speak for all the unlived parts of me, and they came with a force and dazzle that I couldn't contain. They seemed to explode the boundaries of my existence. I know now that they were the clamor of a new self struggling to be born." (p. 3)
Yes, that's the first page of the book. Page 3 and I've already underlined the whole thing. I read this in bed last night and whimpered a little and then looked over at Steven to see if he'd heard me. Sound asleep, he was. And I - I was actually excited. Grasping the edges of this worn paperback tightly, I felt a little excitement growing inside that there is something great to come. As it says on page 10, "It feels to us like a collapsing of all that is, but it's a holy quaking."
I'm so ready for it. Bring it on, Sue, bring it on.
NOTE: Yes, we're still doing Captivating, but don't be surprised if you hear more from me about this book!