I received this great advice today:
When the map in your head doesn't match the terrain before you,
change the map.
Pause and think about that for a second. Let it become a visual.
It came as such a wakeup call to me. 99.9% of the time, I try to change the terrain, to make it work. I want to make the "terrain" before me - the reality of my life circumstances and relationships - adjust to the idealized view in my head. This valuable piece of advice suggests that sometimes you have to pause, look at reality, and reposition yourself to see it with fresh eyes. Most of the time I cause myself so much frustration and resentment by trying to change my situation rather than changing myself.
I'm a dreamer and an idealist by nature. Does this mean I shouldn't continue to dream? Absolutely not. But there's a way to have hope for the present and hope for the future in a peaceful way rather than striving, with humble surrender rather than pushing. Letting go rather than squelching.
The old way I've been doing things doesn't work. The map is going to change. Starting now.