Bye bye, Brennan.

"Whenever the gospel is invoked to diminish the dignity of any of God's children, then it is time to get rid of the so-called gospel in order that we may experience the gospel."
~ Brennan Manning, Abba's Child

Brennan Manning, a hero of the faith and one of my favorite authors of all time, just passed away at age 78.  When I think of Brennan Manning, I absolutely think of the word "grace."  His written and spoken words have communicated the blood-and-guts meaning of grace to me in a unique, impactful way.

I love these words from Brennan's obituary...

"Brennan Manning, for whom grace was irresistible, completed his earthly journey on Friday, April 12 at 12:10AM. He is now resting safely in the arms of his Abba."

Image source: etsy.com/shop/thelovelywords

My freshman year of college at Belmont, I read Brennan's most well-known book, The Ragamuffin Gospel.  Admittedly, I only picked it up because DC Talk endorsed it, and Brennan Manning was in their Jesus Freak video.  But it was the first "Christian living" book I'd ever read, and it changed me. 

You see, at the ripe age of 17, I was a "good Baptist girl" who had never really experienced much hardship.   I honestly saw myself as a pretty good person...which was all well and good, except that it had nothing to do with grace.  When I read about the fact that I, too, was a ragamuffin in need of grace, I was deeply affected.  I wish it had shattered me then, but it would be years later before I fell on my face in honest need of God's grace with broken pride, truly for the first time. 

When I first met my now-husband, Steven, he shared about how grace had changed his life.  He emailed me a scanned copy of the "The Imposter" chapter from Brennan's book, Abba's Child.  I read it curled up in my bed in Nashville one night, and it was like nothing I'd ever heard - there is a poser, an "imposter" inside each of us?   It began to reposition my skewed view of reality - yes, there are even believers wrestling everyday with the tension of sin and grace and forgiveness.  Looking back, I'm ashamed of how I treated people, seeing myself as "better" than those who openly struggled.  I was the worst of the imposters.

Almost four years ago, I finally read all of Abba's Child for myself and wrote this in reflection, "People have been telling me to read that book for a decade.   I am just now discovering its beauty and relevance in my life as I realize that of my almost 30 years as a believer in Christ, I still do not really know what it feels like to know I am God's beloved."

I could fill an entire journal with one-liners by Brennan that have cut to my very soul.

"When the craving for reassurances is stifled, trust happens."
~ The Ragamuffin Gospel

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"When a man or woman is truly honest (not just working at it), it is virtually impossible to insult them personally.  There is nothing there to insult."
~ The Ragamuffin Gospel

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"There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are."
~ The Ragamuffin Gospel

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"The poor in spirit are the most nonjudgmental of peoples; they get along well with sinners."

~ The Ragamuffin Gospel

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"Without fear, I can acknowlege that the authentic Christian tension is not between life and death, but between life and life."
~ Abba's Child

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"The number of people who have fled the church because it is too patient or compassionate is negligible; the number who have fled because they find it too unforgiving is tragic."
~ Abba's Child

The one book of Brennan's that I haven't read is his last one, a memoir called All Is Grace.  This must go to the top of the reading list. 

Bye bye for now, Brennan.  I have no doubt you are now safe in the arms of your Abba.  I am so thankful for the way God has moved through your life, and for the way He's used your life to change mine.

 

* This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

3 simple joys.

I found this quote on my dear friend Jenni's blog this morning, and how it resonated with me:

We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.
—Roger Ebert

On the days when I feel the least like I want to contribute joy, those are the ones when I absolutely must.

So here are some joys I want to share today...

A new book to inspire a tired mama who has run out of ideas...

Check out the blog The Artful Parent as well - great stuff!

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Finding my daughter this way in the back yard...

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An Easter egg hunt everyday...

It's one of the joys of keeping chickens, for sure!

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What are some simple joys you've experienced lately?

Bread & Wine.

It's arrived!  I'm happily in the midst of reading Shauna Niequist's latest book, Bread & Wine.  Shauna's people have once again been kind enough to include me in the group of bloggers reading and reviewing advance copies of the book, and I can't wait to officially share about it here once I'm done.  But let's just say this - this book speaks my language in every way.  I nearly wept reading the intro alone.  As if I should be surprised...

Shauna's first book, Cold Tangerines, taught me that "this pedestrian life" is the best life I've got.  Cold Tangerines began my love story with living more deeply - stopping, pausing my frantic, busy, married working-girl life to be more present in the details, to tell my story and invite others into it.

Her second book, Bittersweet, was read shortly after I became a mother, at a time when I could not be experiencing change more deeply, in the beautifully exhausting hours of caring for a newborn.

Two-and-a-half-years later, I still can say along with Shauna, "I’m so thankful to live in this physical, messy, blood-and-guts world." (Bittersweet)

How I love some bread and wine in my life on a regular basis - yes, I do love bread (hello, I'm Italian) and wine (apparently I also love white wine, who knew?) but together, "bread & wine" is communion.  Community.  This introvert loves having people over, sharing meals around our table.  It's all part of this year's purpose of embracing who I really am

Our home is centered around one very large, rustic farm table that my husband built from salvaged barn wood.  In just a few years, I cannot even count the memorable meals we've shared around that table, crumbs falling through the holes in the table's imperfect surface, elbows touching, glasses being filled and refilled.  So far, Bread & Wine resonates with these passions perfectly. I've already written the name of my friend "Linda" in the margin on page 13. And "Aunt Lucille" in the margin on page 14.

We're off to a good start, friends.  More to come...

* This post includes Amazon affiliate links.

Hello, 2013.

Hello, 2013.  Let's do this. Let's be more organized and more grateful.  Let's read more books.  Let's send more snail mail.

I've created an inspiring little space on the hutch in the butler's pantry where my leafy green 2013 planner can live everyday, safe from toddler hands.  Set on a beaded flower mat, surrounded by smooth river stones from Colorado and a sweet gum tree pod, it's far better than my planner from last year which floated from room to room and is scribbled throughout with a two-year-old's artwork.  I love my daughter's artwork but not in mama's planner, please.

So, I thought I'd share a few of my 2013 goals - none too many or too lofty, but realistic and hopefully inspiring...

  1. Plan ahead better on birthdays.  I always turn my calendar page and realize there are birthdays coming up that I haven't planned for.  Even if it's just a handwritten card in the mail, I want to celebrate birthdays better this year. 
  2. Send more care packages.  I think it's time for another snail mail exchange!  Snail mail is good for the soul.
  3. Learn to knit. I want to make handwarmers and mug rugs and scarves and hats and all kinds of fun things.  A visit to Shabby Sheep might be in order.
  4. Read more books.  I'll try to do better than the scant 8 books I read in 2012.  Man, 2010 was a good reading year - all those hours spent rocking and nursing a newborn - 27 books!
  5. Sew & embroider more.  Funky curtains for the guest room, pillows and pillowcases, and a "mapron" (man-apron) for Steven.  I've got a lot of projects in my mind that need to become realities, like this adorable typerwriter pocket pillow from the latest issue of Country Living...

  6. Yoga.  I've been saying for the last two years that I want to get back into yoga regularly.  It's time.  There are even mommy + me yoga classes in our neighborhood for $8/class.
  7. Make it back to the northeast this summer.  This past August in New Jersey was very healing for me.  I'd love to go for a little less than a month this time, and for our little family to take a drive up to the beautiful Adirondacks in New York state for a few days.
  8. 365 days outside.  I was inspired by my Instagram friend Aimee of the blog Wild Boy Yonder who recently posted this - a commitment to be outside every single day for a year.  Here in Dallas, most of the year will be easy, but summer...ouch.  The summer is scorching here, but we can still commit to make it outside every day, if just to play in the sprinkler.

 

What are some of your 2013 goals, friends?  I'd love to know!

He will restore. (30 days of thankfulness - day 30)

I can think of no better note on which to end this month of thankfulness.  A few weeks ago in the middle of my Bible Study Fellowship lecture I was reminded of this verse:

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." (Joel 2:25)

I scrawled the verse on my notebook page, and underneath it in bold letters with my turquoise Papermate pen, I wrote, "HE WILL RESTORE."  Tears came into my eyes as I thought of our lives, the lives of so many close friends, filled with so much beauty and so much loss.  And so much hope.  God will restore.

Then, while taking a bath tonight, I read this passage in Anne Lamott's newest book, Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers...

I practically burst into tears right there in the bathtub.  My thankfulness posts are now all overlapping and intertwining, and I see how God weaves these beautiful stories.  I'd miss them if I didn't practice thankfulness, taking the time to write it down and see how it all connects.

My little family, we've lost much - more than is appropriate to share here in this public space.  But we will - and already have - receive back for what we've lost.  It might not be in the way we've pictured, but it will be good.  The details don't really matter, because what I want to communicate today to each and every person who reads this is that He will restore.  And that's the best possible news I can think of at this very moment. 

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During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.

Bible Study Fellowship. (30 days of thankfulness - day 20)

A vivid image from my childhood: my mom with her worn Bible open, her scrawling cursive filling up the blank spaces of her Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) lessons.  I must have been in grade school at the time, but it was obviously a memorable image - my mother intentionally seeking the Lord in a non-negotiable time of study that I recognized as special and sacred.

Bible Study Fellowship is an international organization, so there are BSF chapters that meet at churches in 38 nations across the world.  The study year begins in September and ends in May, and during that time you study one book of the Bible - everyone around the world seeking the Lord and studying the same book at once.  Beautiful.

Earlier this year, my friend Melissa suggested that I join a local BSF class that was beginning this September - the designated book for this year was Genesis.  It's been so long - too long - since I've been in an organized, disciplined Bible study, and as much as I felt my soul craving it, I immediately started making excuses in my mind:

"Yeah, I already know Genesis.  Adam & Eve, Noah's Ark, Abraham."

"How could Genesis possibly be relevant to my everyday life in 2012?"

"I don't really have time for this." 

"Would Luci Belle be okay in the children's class separated from me for a few hours?"

But I took the plunge, and I can't possibly state more strongly how much it is changing me and how much my daughter is learning.  On a typical BSF day (Wednesday mornings), I drop Luci Belle at her class, where she eagerly runs to her teachers without a single tear.  Then I head to the church sanctuary where hundreds of women gather for a few songs before we split up to our small groups.  During small group time, we discuss the previous week's study notes and our answers to the questions.  After small group, we reconvene in the sanctuary for the lecture, which my education-loving self thrives on - notebook open and ready, Bible open, colored pens uncapped. Only through the Holy Spirit could a straightforward, very un-exciting lecture move a person to tears - which it has already done for me multiple times.

The BSF children's classes are not just childcare.  These teachers love the children deeply, pray for them individually, and teach them a pared-down version of the exact lesson we're learning that week.  My two-year-old is soaking it up like a sponge, asking me practically everyday if it's a "school day" and if she can go to "Bible school."  The second week of BSF, I inquired during the car ride home what she had learned that day.  She boldly declared, "Da Bible is twue."   Last week, we were getting ready to leave for BSF, and my husband picked her up and asked her if she was excited to go to Bible school.  She took her palm, placed it on his chest and said, "Jesus in heart, Daddy?"

I adore the ladies in my small group.  I didn't need another young moms group, but a group of women from diverse backgrounds and ages, and that is what I got.  Most women are older than me, and I love learning from their wisdom. 

More than anything, I'm pleasantly surprised how much Genesis is applicable to my daily life, how often I think about my BSF lessons all throughout my days.  I've found that the Word of God is absolutely "alive and active, sharper than any double-edged sword" (Hebrews 4:12).  The Scriptures have come alive to me once again, as I see the perfect picture of how the Word of God is a pursuant story, with cohesiveness from beginning to end.

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During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.

"Me" time. (30 days of thankfulness - day 19)

Sometimes you just need a steaming cup 'o tea, a good book, and some quiet.  For mamas of toddlers, this is ideally multiple times a day - haha - but ideally at least once.   I wish I was disciplined enough to wake up at 6:30am every morning, but "me" time usually happens later in the evening for this night owl, after my daughter has gone to sleep.

On this particular evening, it included Bedtime Tea, my bookmark from Little Shop of Stories in Decatur, GA, and Anne of Green Gables. On page 29 I read, "Isn't it splendid there are so many things to like in this world?", and I knew Anne and I were kindred spirits.

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During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.

Mary Oliver. (30 days of thankfulness - day 13)

I was reminded of this wonderful Mary Oliver quote by my blog friend and kindred spirit, Linda.  I'm thankful for Mary Oliver's way of wordsmithing - just what my soul needs to understand. 

This quote goes hand in hand with everything I'm learning in my current study of the book of Genesis.  As a believer in Christ, I can and should think about the beauty God created and be grateful.  He could have made it only functional, but He didn't.  He made it beautiful, too.

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During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.