Snail mail exchange: fall is here!

Fall is officially here, and it's time for another Snail Mail Exchange!  This is our fourth exchange now, and I've absolutely loved seeing women across the country {who sometimes don't even know each other} connect through something real and tangible.  And who doesn't love to receive snail mail?!

Here's how it works...

If you decide to participate, I will randomly assign you a snail mail exchange buddy to whom you will send a small, fun snail mail package.  Think handmade, simple, thoughtful.  The point is just sending someone something to make them smile, not spending a ton of money.  And you certainly don't have to make something if you don't feel comfortable with that.  Just think of something YOU would enjoy receiving. 

Ideas:

• Handwritten notes/cards or encouraging quotes/verses
• Items from nature
• Bookmarks
• Something handmade/sewn/knitted
• Tea/coffee
• Simple jewelry
• Lotion/soaps
• Little notebooks/school supplies
• Books you'd like to pass along

{HINT: I was at Michael's the other day, and they have a plethora of inexpensive fun wood, burlap, and chalkboard gifty items - I almost had to be forcibly removed from the aisle.}

We're all unique, so we'll all include different items in our packages. Obviously.   

**But to be fair, just make sure you send MORE than just a note - include at least a few other things.  Put some effort and thought into it - just don't throw it together the day before the deadline, OK?

So, are you in?

Post a comment below and I'll contact you with details (if you don't know me personally, be sure to include your email address).

What I see.

A few mornings ago, we went to one of our favorite local hiking places, the Cedar Ridge Preserve, and my friend Erin took this photo.  Norah was hamming it up all morning, while Luci Belle and her pal Lawson (Erin's daughter) skipped along the mulched trails together.  Right before we crossed over the familiar bridge on which we've photographed our children multiple times, Erin told me to stop and turn so she could take a photo of Norah in the backpack.   When I saw it, I realized it was probably the first full-body photo of myself postpartum where I thought, "I really like how I look."

Is it because I have the perfect hair, clothes, or makeup?  Absolutely not.

Is it because I've lost all my "baby weight"?  No, hardly.  I probably have 20+ pounds to go.

Is it because it was staged to make me look good in the moment?  No, I didn't even realize I was in the photo until later.

I like this photo because when I look at it, I see a strong woman. 

I see a mama who loves to carry her babies and tries to get them outdoors to soak in the sunshine and fresh air. 

I see a woman who is becoming stronger everyday. 

I see a woman who is continuing to find peace with her body through all its changes. 

Most of all, I see a sweet, happy, dependent baby who could care less what size her mother is - there's just love.

It's so easy to be hard on ourselves, especially after our bodies have done - and are doing - the most remarkable thing: growing, birthing, and caring for little ones.   But today, I feel a little more kindness towards myself.  And that's progress.

How I prepared for a homebirth VBAC.

It's been 7 months since Norah Jewell entered our lives.  Was it really just 7 months ago that I didn't yet know her peaceful personality and pillowy cheeks or the way her dark, wavy hair makes a swirl at the crown of her head?  Funny how it seems like pregnancy will never end, and then you move on so quickly to the next stage: raising your new, precious little person.

The birth of my first daughter, Luci Isabelle, didn't exactly go as planned.  After spending my entire first pregnancy preparing for a natural birth at a birth center, I ended up with a c-section after 36 hours of labor and never progressing past 5cm.  Throughout that experience, I learned a lot about fear and pain and surrender and know that in the end, it was all for a reason and she entered the world the way she was supposed to. 

But I still had this innate desire to birth a baby naturally. So when I became pregnant again, I knew I wanted to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). 

From what I understand, VBACs were more popular before c-sections became so common here in the U.S. (30% of births nowadays!), and then as our c-section rate grew, it was generally understood that once you had a c-section, you always had to have one.  VBACs have had a resurgence in recent years as women have become more educated and are fighting for the births they desire.  VBACs have an overall success rate of 74%, which is pretty amazing. The more research I did, I saw that I didn't have any of the high risk factors and was a great candidate for a VBAC.  {This site has a lot of great stats and info on VBACs.} 

I also had an awesome midwife on my side - Kathleen Mayorga of Bella Births - who is a nurse practitioner with plenty of hospital experience and great track record of successful VBACs.  Kathleen is also the midwife who was with me during most of my labor with Luci Belle.  She fought alongside me for a natural birth but is the one who decided we finally needed to go to the hospital.  I completely trusted her expertise, especially since she'd been with me the first time and knew what had gone wrong.  She completely believed I could do a VBAC this time.

At first, I was pretty firm on wanting to do my VBAC at Kathleen's birth center.  Then after watching the documentary "More Business of Being Born" I decided that not just VBAC, but homebirth, was undoubtedly the best plan for me.   Kathleen said, "I've never done a VBAC at home that wasn't successful," and after seeing the documentary I understood why.  Your home is where you feel most comfortable.  If you're low-risk and have a highly experienced birth team and feel comfortable with it, you have an extremely good chance of having a successful VBAC at home.  We live 3 minutes from the nearest hospital.  Especially with none of the high risk factors, I figured I had the greatest chance for a VBAC in my own, peaceful, familiar environment with a great birth team, where I'd be free to roam around and labor however I was most effective.    Kathleen said I had about a 70-80% chance of being able to have a successful VBAC.  A lot of it depended on my own mental and emotional state.  Was I all-in?  Was I willing to do everything she told me to prepare my body for this?  Did I really believe I had the ability to birth my baby naturally?

In my heart, the answer to all of these questions was a resounding yes.  I wanted so badly for my body to do what it was created to do.  I knew there was nothing wrong with my uterus.  It was my misaligned pelvis and the position of my first daughter (Occiput Posterior) that prevented her from descending into the birth canal enough to make me dilate fully.  As the world-renowned midwife Ina May Gaskin says, "Your body is not a lemon."   This sounds strange, but I wanted it all.  I wanted to feel everything.  I wanted to sense what it was like to push my baby out.  I just had this deep feeling that I could do this, that I could have this amazing experience of being full engaged with my baby coming into the world.

In the end, the sweet, wonderful victorious thing is that I was able to have a successful homebirth VBAC with Norah!   Besides a lot of centering, surrendering prayer to the Lord, I don't think there was any one thing that made it happen successfully, but a lot of things that all worked together.

Before I go any further, I just want to make it clear that I know a VBAC isn't the best option for everyone.  I also have several friends who attempted VBACs and ended up with repeat c-sections.  I know that could have been me as well.  I'm not assuming that these tips will work for everyone, but I wanted to share what I feel gave me my best chance at having a successful VBAC.

So in hopes of helping others in my same position, here are all the things I did to prepare for my homebirth VBAC.  Even if you're choosing a hospital or birth center VBAC, I hope you'll find something here that's helpful.

Prayer

This was most important to me, because I had to surrender my dreams and wishes to the Lord.  He knit Norah together in my womb and was there every minute with me through this pregnancy, from the hours I spent sick on the bathroom floor, to washing and folding her clothes, to seeing her twisting and turning on the ultrasound screen.  But I'm not sure if it mattered to God how she would come into the world.  Was it His will one way or another - c-section or natural birth?  I don't know, but the Bible tells us to approach Him with confidence and persistence and faith, so that's what I did.  I asked Him for this gift - for my body to do what He had created it to do.  I had peace that I had given Him my heart's desire, and from there, whatever happened would be okay. 

Chiropractic care

One of the biggest mistakes I made when pregnant with Luci Belle was not getting chiropractic adjustments, and I ended up with a misaligned pelvis that wouldn't allow my baby to descend and the inevitable c-section.  I wasn't going to make that mistake again.  After Luci Belle's birth, we developed an incredible relationship with the folks at Café of Life Chiropractic, and doctors Autumn and Tom Gore have adjusted our entire family since. They are like family to us.  Their office is a safe haven, a nucleus of peace and community.  So getting adjusted from the beginning of my pregnancy was an absolute must.  I said so many times, "I don't know how I got through my first pregnancy without chiropractic care.  What was I thinking?"  After getting adjusted each time, I just felt so much better.  I could tell that my pelvis was open and aligned.  I could feel life coursing through me from my head to my toes.  And when I had the aches and pains of my bones and ligaments stretching to accommodate this baby, they were immediately relieved after getting adjusted.  I highly recommend chiropractic to all pregnant women.  Make sure you choose one who is well-versed in dealing with pregnancy and children.

Hypnobabies

During my first pregnancy I was kinda skeptical of the whole Hypnobabies thing, but then I had several friends who used the audio tracks successfully and had very peaceful births.  I found out they had a CD specifically for VBACs which I purchased and listened to every night as I fell asleep.  I only remember one time that I was still awake at the end of the CD, but apparently, your subconscious is still soaking in the affirmations even if you're asleep.  One phrase on the CD stuck out to me more than all the others, "This is my healing birth."   Weeks before the birth, I wrote this phrase on the mirror in my bedroom with dry erase marker.  As you'll see later in my birth story, this phrase ended up being very meaningful to me.

Being more active

Huge pregnant belly.  Very energetic 3-year-old.  'Nuff said. 

Better posture

Last time, I was still working from home 8+ hours a day.  I sat at my desk every day, all day.  I've since read that sitting too much and bad posture in pregnancy can lead to your baby being in an unfavorable position.  This time, I wasn't sitting all day; I was movin' (see previous).  Also, Norah was positioned correctly and able to descend straight into my pelvis.

Agreeing to not be induced

The highest risk for uterine rupture in VBACs is among women who were induced into labor because it stresses the uterus.  Having felt the effects of that horrific beast, Pitocin, the first time, I in no way, shape, or form wanted to be given anything synthetic to induce my labor.  Thankfully, my midwife was just as passionate about helping my labor start naturally or at least with gentle natural methods.

Essential oils

I've mentioned how much I love my doTerra essential oils and have been building an arsenal of them.  Then, my dear friend Bre who runs the website Nourishing the Home gave me a wonderful baby shower gift - a labor and birth kit filled with an array of doTerra oils along with scripture cards and bullet points of how to use them.  My favorite oil pre-labor was Clary Sage - at 38 weeks, I started diffusing Clary Sage on my nightstand before bed, and not only was it super calming, but it also made me have some Braxton-Hicks contractions which were good practice for my uterus. 

Supplements

I was faithful in taking a good prenatal vitamin, Vitamin C (which my midwife said would help me build a good strong bag of waters), and Carlson's Vitamin D-3 drops throughout my pregnancy, and then in the last several weeks, I took Red Raspberry Leaf in capsules (because no one can drink that much tea) and Evening Primrose Oil.  I took as much EPO as possible to prepare my uterus - by mouth as well as internally (email me if you want to know details on that - ha.)

Birthing without fear, speaking positively, & understanding the facts

It was essential for me to try erase the fears of my last experience...that because of last time, my body couldn't do it this time, or that I'd be one of the 1% who had something terrible happen.  I tend towards being fearful in general, so this had to be addressed.  Doing my own research really helped to assuage a lot of these fears.  When you're considering a VBAC, the words "uterine rupture" are always at the forefront, either said to scare you, or said to yourself to convince yourself not to do it.  Yes, uterine ruptures can happen but from all of my research, I found that the rate was only 1%, and I actually had a greater risk of something going wrong during a repeated c-section (which some people forget is major surgery!) than I did with a VBAC.  I also kept telling myself "I am staying out of the hospital this time."  In the back of my mind, of course I knew I would go if I had to, in the event of an actual emergency.  But building up confidence that I was going to be able to do this outside of the hospital this time was important for me.

~ ~ ~

So there you have it!   I truly hope this helps someone have the VBAC they desire.   The story of Norah's beautiful healing birth is coming soon...stay tuned.

Learning numbers with hopscotch.

The Bailey girls love chalk, we just do.  And drawing hopscotch on the sidewalk in front of our house is something we do often.  The other morning, our chalk fun turned into an impromptu numbers lesson, so I wanted to share.  Nothing like totally unplanned learning that seems just like play!

First, I just drew the hopscotch like I normally do, and we played a few times.  Then, I told her to close her eyes and choose a piece of chalk from the box. 

With the orange piece of chalk she chose, I told her to trace my numbers on the hopscotch and tell me the name of the number as she did it.  Her eyes lit up and she was excited to try it.

Then, I had her close her eyes again and choose another piece of chalk (purple this time) and then draw her own numbers next to each of my numbers.  This was harder obviously, as she's still learning how to write all of her numbers well.  But having already traced them and seeing mine next to hers, it helped a lot.

And that's all!  Super simple, but I thought someone else could use the idea.  We went back to playing a few more rounds of hopscotch, and it was just another reminder that LIFE LEARNING is fun!

August: getting back to simple living.

As a family, we've decided to take the month of August to simplify our lives even further, to cut back on spending and get back to the simple, wonderful things that make life worth living. We've already been eating cleaner thanks to our first completed Whole30, which we're both continuing to do for the most part.  But now we're feeling led to tackle other areas like TV/movie consumption, financial spending, and just how we spend our time in general. 

Technology is helpful, but I don't want our family to be defined by it.  There are so many other things that are important to us: embracing time outside in nature, savoring the simple gifts of childhood like reading books together, making crafts, digging in the dirt, and running through a sprinkler.  I want my children to be able to find ways to play on their own (or with us) without a TV, phone, or Kindle being involved.

Here's what we've committed to for the month of August:

No TV/movie/Netflix watching at all.  Let's be honest, this is probably going to be the hardest on mama, not because I like to watch TV (I rarely do), but because I absolutely use TV/Netflix as a crutch to keep my 4-year-old busy when I need a break.  I'm pretty stringent about her only watching shows like those on PBS Kids or other classics like Richard Scarry's Busytown, Little Bear, and Strawberry Shortcake.  And I'm not some kind of supermom who thinks I should be able to parent 100% of the time without using media, but I do think we need to cut it out for a month just to take a step back and re-evaluate.  This will open the door back up to more creative play, more often.  For instance, our babysitter Rachel who comes twice a week has a strict no-TV-watching policy while she's with any kids she's babysitting.  You wouldn't believe the creations she and Luci Belle come up with - a "dollhouse" made of cardboard and recycling scraps, a secret hideaway made from a carseat box, and a super hero tissue paper cape.

No technology while eating, nursing, or bathing.  We've gotten into the bad habit of answering texts while at the dinner table and allowing our oldest daughter to eat her lunch while watching a show.  I've picked up my phone to check Instagram while nursing as my precious wide-eyed 6-month old is looking up at me playing with my hair.   And the other night, I took my phone with me to take a bath.  Seriously?  This is not okay.

Cook and share meals at home.  We haven't been eating out much since Whole30, but this will also eliminate the several-times-weekly trips to Whole Foods to get my daughter pepperoni pizza from the hot bar.  We know how to make an awesome homemade crust ourselves, so instead we're going to have a fun pizza-making fest here at home and freeze them for later.  Or spend some time on the patio at our own business, Urban Acres, and eat some of our awesome artisan pizza.

Be outside. Yes, August is absolutely sweltering in Texas, pretty unbearable unless you're near water.  So we're either going to find water, just sweat it out, or hunker down inside.  I'd like to see more family walks this month, then a run through the sprinkler when we get home.

Read more books.  After the children are in bed, Steven tends to veg out watching a movie on Netflix, and I join him mindlessly or work on some writing/creative stuff.   At the same time, I have, like, 6 books going and can't seem to finish any of them.  I hope to fix that in the month of August!  And I know my husband will benefit from getting back to reading more.

So here are the books I'm currently reading that I'd like to finish:

• Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff
• Let's All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have by Annie F. Downs
• The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drummond
• Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
• Undaunted: Daring to Do What God Calls You to Do by Christine Caine
• Preemptive Love: Pursuing Peace One Heart at a Time by Jeremy Courtney {see my review so far}
• Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford

Um yeah, so 7 books.

~ ~ ~

We've already started preparing Luci Belle for a month without TV and have been talking about all the things that are better than it, anyway.  Tonight, we're making a list of all the things we're going to do in August instead of watch shows.  I can only imagine the ways this is going to change our family.

And I don't know if this is weird, but I actually feel giddy about this.  Probably because it stirs what's deep in my soul, what I want my life and family to be about, and what I know is healthiest for us. 

They say that "transparency creates accountability," so now that it's out there, there's no turning back.  August, let's do this!

Spiralizer love.

I've been wanting a Spiralizer for awhile now, and we finally ordered one (this one from Paderno World Cuisine).  Since it arrived, I've literally spiralized everything we've eaten since!  Obsessed!  What a new, fun way to eat your produce.  Anything that makes healthy eating easier and more interesting is worth every penny in my book.

Here's my first time spiralizing carrots.  I made them into an uh-mazing raw salad that you'll see down below.

The first meal I made with the spiralizer though was this one that I found on the Whole30 Instagram feed a few weeks back.  It was so delicious that my chef/foodie husband actually raved about it, took a photo of it, and then practically licked his bowl.  Since he initially scoffed at "noodles" made of anything besides grains, I considered that a victory!

Zucchini Noodles with Avocado Cream Sauce (Serves 1)

recipe as follows from @whole30recipes

Avocado Cream Sauce:

• 1/2 avocado
• juice of 1/2 lime
• 2 tablespoons of coconut milk (make sure to read ingredients! I use Natural Value brand, which is canned)
• 2-3 tbsp fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1-2 cloves of finely chopped garlic (depending how much you want to ward off vampires)
• salt to taste

If you have a food processor, you can just put all of the ingredients except the zucchini into your food processor and blend until creamy!  Otherwise: In a bowl, mash the avocado with a fork. Add the lime juice, coconut milk, cilantro and garlic and combine until creamy. Finally add salt & pepper to taste.

For the zucchini:

Turn your zucchini into noodles either with a spiralizer or julienne peeler (I use a Paderno brand spiralizer). Sauté the zucchini in Whole 30-compliant oil for a few minutes until tender.

Toss the cooked zucchini in a bowl with the sauce until well-mixed, then enjoy immediately!

{My note: I didn't have lime or cilantro, so I used fresh lemon juice and basil leaves instead. It was awesome.}

~ ~ ~

What did I make next?

For breakfast this morning I cut the "zoodles" (as they're called in the spiralizer world) into smaller pieces after I spiralized them and combined them in a pan with sweet potato hash.  I tossed it and cooked it a few minutes longer just until the zucchini was slightly tender and then served it in a bowl with eggs fried in ghee.  Delish.

Last night I made spiralized sweet potato fries (apparently called "sweet patoodles") for my 4-year-old by tossing them with some avocado oil and sea salt and roasting them in the oven until crispy (400 degrees for about 20 minutes; I kept checking them and tossing them a little). After the first sweet, crispy, salty bite, my daughter said, "Can we have these curly fries every single day, Mommy?"  Why yes, yes we can.

And then for lunch, I created the perfect raw salad with my spiralizer, a salad I could honestly eat every single day.  Here's what it had:

• Spiralized raw carrots and zucchini
• 1/2 avocado, cut into chunks
• Shredded chicken
• Diced dried apricots
• Crispy pecans, chopped

I tossed it all in a bowl with my fingers and then drizzled some vinaigrette dressing on top (3:1 ratio of olive oil to apple cider vinegar, squirt of Dijon mustard, salt and pepper).  Then I added shredded basil leaves for a little zing.

It was seriously the best salad I've had in a long time.  There's just something about those curly raw "noodles" - being able to curl your fork around something in your bowl and taking a big, fluffy, crunchy bite. 

It feels decadent in some way, even though they're 100% veggies and super healthy for you.

Here are a few tips I've learned so far:

• Once you have your spiralizer out and ready, spiralize a bunch of items at once.  Put them in airtight containers and save for other meals later that day or week.
• If zucchini is too soft, it's more difficult to spiralize.  I cut mine in half and made each end flat and that helped a lot. 
• There are tons of spiralizer recipes out there - the blogger behind Inspiralized has become famous for her spiralizer recipes.  She even has a handy "how-to" page.
• Clean your spiralizer right after using it - trust me, it's better than letting the food crust on it and trying to clean it even 30 minutes later.  I have a sprayer on my kitchen sink and that works super well getting all the food particles off. And because there's no motor, you can put all parts in the sink and clean them off thoroughly.

So yeah, I'm totally sold!

If you're ready to try out the spiralizer, here's the one I got on Amazon:

Let me know what you decide to make with your spiralizer!

* This post contains Amazon associate links.  If you buy a spiralizer through this link I get a tiny commission.  Thank you!

Things I learned in yoga class.

For me, yoga has always been the perfect type of exercise for my body ~ its peaceful and slower pace still gives me a really challenging workout.  Kudos and much respect to all of you runners, but that will probably never be me.  It feels so great to get back into yoga again postpartum (and Pilates for the first time!).

Lately, I've been trying to ride my bike to our local yoga studio, and can I just tell you how freeing that is?   Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love babywearing and taking walks with my girls in the stroller, but when it's just me - with nothing attached and nothing to push - I almost feel naked.  In the best possible way. 

So the other day, I threw my water bottle and a good book into my bike basket, and my new flowery yoga pants and I got peddling.   I felt like a kid again flying down the side streets to the studio and chaining my bike to the closest pole.

For my first class back after having Norah, I chose a Yoga Basics class taught by an instructor with a voice that could lull you to sleep and sounded a lot like Ione Sky in Say Anything.  The class was slower paced and focused a lot on relaxation, twists, and really listening to our bodies.  At the end, she asked if anyone wanted a few drops of lavender oil on their towel.  My hand shot in the air.  It was heavenly.

As I look forward to this time each week, I've been thinking about all the great lessons yoga has taught me lately:

• Sweating is essential and just feels so good. I crave that time a few minutes after entering the lowly lit studio when my body starts to warm and any cares of the day start to release.
• Being upside down for a little while just makes the whole world a little clearer. 
• Our bodies are different everyday.
• When you look at other people {in class} and take your focus away, you fall.
• As my instructor said, "Your issues are in your tissues."   We carry emotional issues in our bodies and they can actually create physical symptoms.  Let it go.
• Creating emptiness in our lives allows for grace to seep in.
• You know that show Hoarders?  We do that inside our body too.  Again, let it go.
• "Slow and strong, slow and strong, slow and strong," - this is my new goal for how I want to live my life - slowly, with strength.  Slowly enough to capture the joy and small, beautiful moments, but not lazily...with intention.  In control, but surrendered.    And stronger - both emotionally and physically - everyday.

9 years.

Because 9 years ago on a rainy July day, we stood in front of our closest friends and family.  He told me I was "the most beautiful thing in his life."  And we agreed to walk with each other to the feet of Jesus.

Because we made our vows, and we know it's not easy, and we're not always loveable.

Because we know it's hard, hard work.

Because we've been through "better" - two beautiful babies, a successful business, a safe and comfortable home, wonderful friends and family.

Because we've been through "worse" - lack of money, growing apart, broken family relationships and friendships, marriages crumbling around us.

Because he promised to take care of me and hold my dreams gently in his hands,

and he has.

Because I knew that life with him would not be perfect or easy but a wonderful, wild adventure,

and it has been.

Because 9 years married - and still in love - is worth celebrating.

Today, I say to the love of my life, my best friend, "Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be." We've built a beautiful life together, babe.  Thank you for being on this journey with me.