Inspiration lately.

Image: thornandsparrow.com

The beginning of the year always has me inspired.  Here's a random list of things lately that I just had to share...

• Desktop and iPhone wallpaper backgrounds on Thorn + Sparrow's website.  Thank you Bre for introducing me to these!  I currently have the June desktop background on my computer with the roasting marshmallows and it makes me so happy. You can use most of these any time of year - I saved them all to my computer so I can rotate them.  I have the Jim Elliot quote as my iPhone background. Fitting for a phone background, wouldn't you say?
• Emily Ley organizers.  My friend Liz introduced me to these and was even kind enough to order me the Simplified Life Binder as a baby shower gift!    This crafty organization nerd is elated.  The Emily Ley organizer apparently also works great with Lara Casey's Power Sheets, which I plan on checking out.
• Babies Ruin Bodies - gosh what a beautiful post.  I experienced a lot of healing with my body image during my first pregnancy, and I look forward to that again this time.
• Enough - this post made me cry.  As I've tried to spend extra time with my 3 1/2-year-old before she becomes a big sister any day now, I'm especially reminded of how precious those moments are.
• For the foodie man in your life - I was just introduced to Mantry, the Modern Man's Pantry.  It's a subscription service (kinda like Birchbox or Stitch Fix) where your man gets a box of artisan foods each month to try.  GENIUS!  This is so going to be my husband's birthday gift this year.  Shhhh, don't tell.

Happy 2014!

Christmas 'round here...

Even though we knew our baby girl #2 would be born shortly after the New Year, I was determined to celebrate Christmas as usual this year.  In fact, I think my preggo nesting instincts caused me to go into Christmas decorating hyperdrive.  It involves 300 yards of yarn and temporary carpal tunnel.  You'll see.

My hubby was gracious enough to get us a brand new faux Christmas tree so we could finally say goodbye to the $20 Walmart special (handed down from his sister) that we used for the first 8 1/2 years of our marriage.  And of course, in true Christine style, I just couldn't wait for him to help me set it up and decided to assemble a 7.5ft pre-lit Christmas tree on my own while he was at work one day.  Let's just say I almost put myself into early labor getting that sucker out of the box.  But it was so worth it!

This Christmas season was full of craftiness...

Luci Belle got her own tabletop tree in her playroom decorated with the cinnamon dough ornaments we made last year (that still smell amazing and are strong and intact).  Then, we added a little wool baby Jesus that I loved so much I wanted to carry it in my pocket - is that weird?  I created the baby Jesus by using a pipecleaner for the head and body form and then needle felting around it with colored wool from Michael's.  The manger is a small wooden container that held a slice of pie from our local pie shop that I let Luci Belle paint, and we added a bed of raffia.

For my birthday, my sister-in-law Trish made me this sweet chalkboard.  It worked out perfectly as a Christmas countdown calendar...

One of my favorite ways to decorate at Christmas is using the cards we receive from friends all over the country.  I wish I was good about sending out Christmas cards, but I sure love receiving them!  I just run a piece of ribbon down the length of the entire doorway (nailed at the top and hanging loosely) and then use big, pearlescent paper clips to attach the cards to the ribbon.  When it's time to take down the decorations, I remove all the cards, punch holes in the sides and make them into a little booklet bound with ribbon or yarn to look back upon.

The chalkboard in the dining room got a special quote this year...which I actually came across in my Bible Study Fellowship lesson on the book of Matthew a few months ago.  I didn't know the words "Be of good cheer" actually came from the mouth of Jesus, but now I do.  And they were my mantra over Christmastime.

I also took on another big sewing project, which for some reason I tend to do at Christmas.  Last year, it was new stockings for each of us, and this year I made a coordinating tree skirt using this tutorial. For the word "JOY," I used leftover flannel fabric from the stockings and printed out the letters really large using Microsoft Word.  I cut them out of paper and traced them onto the fabric and cut them out, then hand-stitched them onto the tree skirt using embroidery thread.  LOVE how it turned out!  Beats the old chenille blanket I was previously wrapping around the base of the tree each year...

And then, I was introduced to finger-knitting.  And subsequently became totally obsessed.  Thanks to my blog/Instagram friend, Kimberly, who posted a picture of a Christmas tree garland she finger-knitted, I thought, YES!  That's the perfect garland for my new tree!  I had an almost-full skein of cream colored yarn on hand, so I pulled up this tutorial and within about 5 minutes, I was finger-knitting.  It was so much easier than knitting with needles.  I finger-knitted for about an hour straight sitting in a chair in the living room while Luci Belle played at my feet.  The trouble is, I knitted the entire skein of yarn and it only fit about 1/4 of the way around the tree.

It's actually scary how giddy I became at the fact that I was going to have to go back to the craft store to get not one - but two! - more skeins of yarn to finger-knit. 

The following evening, I completed the other two garlands (300 yards total - that's 3 football fields, people) while watching Call The Midwife.  Gonna admit I started developing carpal tunnel halfway through garland number three, but I pushed through. 

And they looked so beautiful around the tree.  I loved the mix of earthy materials like wool and paper with the shiny, sparkly ornaments.

The final bit of craftiness is accredited to my husband, who actually made me an origami butterfly and put it in my stocking.  Why?  Because he's awesome.

It was filled with coziness...

This sight...the epitome of peace. Simply being in the living room with the light of the Christmas tree is my favorite.

"Fireplace For Your Home" on Netflix made our living room even warmer in the absence of a real working fireplace.  If you have Netflix on your TV (or laptop), you can play it just like you would a movie.  It's a yule log with Christmas music playing the background, and it even crackles.  Ahhhh.

And, of course, because we are the Baileys, there was a lot of cooking...

We decided on all Italian food this Christmas, second best to being with my Italian family in New Jersey.  So for the first time, I made my cousin Paula's Tiramisu.  It was wonderfully therapeutic to assemble...just a few simple ingredients but you have to set aside the time to do it slowly and methodically.  Also, please don't fall for any tiramisu recipe that uses brandy or rum. In my humble opinion, the only liquor to use in tiramisu is genuine Sambuca Romana.

I think this tiramisu might be one of the most beautiful desserts I've seen.  It looks like a giant sunflower.

After this, the tiramisu was covered and put in the fridge for two days so it could set and get all nice and happy, as Emeril would say.

And for Christmas dinner, thanks to Jimmy's Italian Market here in Dallas, we were able to make all of my favorite Italian-American comfort foods.  They even had braciola, a thinly sliced beef that you stuff with parsley, breadcrumbs, parmesan cheese, and garlic, roll and tie with twine, and cook in a big pot of sauce until tender. 

My little Italian-Korean was eager to help with the sauce...

This bowl of slow-cooked meat was always on my aunt's table for holidays - tender meatballs, Italian sausage, and braciola slathered in homemade tomato sauce.

Here's the full spread without a vegetable in sight!  Ha!  But rest assured we had a big, lightly-dressed crunchy green salad at the table to offset the carb and meat overload.

We had about a vat of baked ziti left over, even after 12 people ate as much as they could!  But that's okay, because the only thing better than baked ziti is baked ziti, day 2, 3, 4...

When it was finally dessert time, the tiramisu did not disappoint.  Mercy.

~ ~ ~

But the best part of this Christmas?  I never thought I'd say this, but it's that we all got sick.  A few weeks before Christmas, Luci Belle got her first ear infection with a high fever and ended up having to take antibiotics for the first time in her life.  Three days after finishing the antibiotics, she somehow came down with another fever, terrible cough, and a rash that we think was Roseola.  Then, Steven and I developed major sinus and allergy problems along with the rest of Dallas and we all just needed a lot of rest, slowness, and more rest.  Steven didn't work much, and we all stayed inside and played puzzles and games and watched movies together over the entire break.  Although we all didn't feel our best, I realized that this time was special because it's the last time it'll be just the three of us.  Maybe God knew we needed that - and if we hadn't been sick, we would have filled our lives with more and more busyness instead of each other.

Now, Christmas is over, and the next time we reassemble our Christmas tree, we'll have a 4-year-old and an almost 1-year-old scooting around the living room.  Life is full and imperfect and peaceful and crazy, and I try to keep taking it one day at a time, capturing the beauty as much as I can.

37 weeks

Preemptive Love: a book giveaway.

Love first.  Ask questions later.  This is the phrase that cut me to the bone when I first cracked open this book.  Ask questions later?  Um, as much as I would love to, it's not how I operate.  I like to ask questions first, get all the information so I know what I'm getting myself into.  I value safety and security above risk most of the time.  And that's why this book is shattering me...

Preemptive Love: Pursuing Peace One Heart at a Time by Jeremy Courtney is the story of a how a group of ordinary people from the U.S. found themselves living among the Kurdish people in Iraq, funding heart surgeries for the nation's most vulnerable children.  As they became immersed more deeply into the culture and were welcomed into homes over tea, they became aware of the shocking backlog of Iraqi children needing lifesaving heart surgeries... in a country without a single qualified heart surgeon.  This led Jeremy and his friends to form the organization Preemptive Love Coalition (PLC) to begin a peacemaking effort and start mending as many hearts as they could. 

You should know this isn't a book review because I haven't yet finished the book myself.  It's so compelling that I'm creeping through, slowly soaking up each page, wide-eyed.  This book has touched me personally because my dear sister-in-law, Michelle, and brother-in-law, Cody, work for PLC in Iraq and are a part of the team in this story.  For years, we have kept in touch with them across the world and soaked up their stories whenever we could spend more time with them back in the states. 

But not until reading this book did I understand the full impact of what is at stake and how this all came to be.  Jeremy and his family, Cody, Michelle, and everyone else at PLC have chosen to risk their lives - with their own children - in one of the world's most dangerous places, in order to save the lives of children who have been passed over by anyone who can help them.  They practice this radical love in the name of Jesus, because loving first is what He did. 

So, how did all of these children get heart defects?  It's fascinating and sickening.  The extremely high level of children with heart defects in Iraq is credited to several factors, one of them being the chemical warfare under Saddham Hussein's regime, especially on a day when "the sky rained death" in Halabja, a Kurdish city near Iran, on March 16, 1988.  I actually wept when I read chapter 2, which details the horror of that day in history.  Because of the chemicals sent down from the sky that literally seeped into people's skin and organs and bones, 5,000 people died and an estimated 20,000 were exposed to the poison gases.  Those who survived were permanently affected - if they were already pregnant, many babies were spontaneously aborted or born prematurely.   The chemicals became embedded in their bodies so much that when others bore children later, even after the chemical rain, their children were born with heart defects. 

Deeya recovering from heart surgery // Photo: Cody Fisher

Can you imagine?  I can't.  Here in the U.S. we have so many choices.  To think of a pregnant woman in her kitchen, quietly preparing a meal for her husband, and then poisonous gases beginning to fill her home...it's infuriating.

Because of the lack of qualified heart surgeons or appropriate facilities in Iraq, these children live with their heart conditions however long they can survive.  But just like any other parent would do, the parents of these children continue to hold out hope that there will be some solution to save their child - even begging a stranger from America for help.  That's how Jeremy and his team came into the picture.  At first, PLC established relationships with doctors in neighboring countries where they transported the children to receive their life-saving surgeries - first Israel, then Turkey.  The fact that Kurdish Muslims agreed to take their children to Israel or Turkey is another story entirely...little did I understand the politics and intense loyalties that make it difficult for a parent to choose their child's health over their national or religious pride.  But until I've been traumatized by a chemical rain from the sky and crawled to my escape only to be tortured in a refugee camp, I won't judge them for the conflict they felt in making such a decision.

Today, PLC brings international heart surgery teams to Iraq to save the children during their many "Remedy Missions" during which 18 children are provided heart surgeries at a time.

Noor's mother holding her after surgery. She said, “Since we first found out that Noor had a heart defect, we haven’t laughed. Now that she is better, we can laugh again.” // Photo: Cody Fisher

A few eye-opening things for me in reading this book so far:

• There are usually two types of reactions among Americans to those living in the Middle East - misjudgment or complete apathy.  I don't want to be a part of either of them.  I want to see these people with fresh eyes - those moms are just like me.  They want the same things for their families.  And they didn't ask to be born into the situations they're in.

• Children are children wherever you go.  I saw this in India and in Africa with my own eyes, but the stories in this book confirm it.  They all want the same things, really - to play, to be healthy, to be free to soak up life.  No child should be stolen that privilege because of a procedure that would be standard practice in an American hospital.
• The subtle, unspoken parallel between "loving first" and physically mending hearts is so beautiful to me.  What more tangible way to share the love of Christ than by actually mending a real, live heart?

Please take the time to learn more about Preemptive Love and read this book.  Enter the giveaway below, or get the book for free with any donation on the Preemptive Love website.  And I hope when you're finished with the book that you'll pass it on.  This story needs to continue to be told.

~ ~ ~

And now for the book giveaway...

To enter, simply post a comment below answering this one question:  What does the phrase "Love first.  Ask questions later" mean to you?  Is it compelling? Is it disturbing?  Is it something you have done before?  I'd love to know your thoughts.  I'll randomly choose a winner of the book on Tuesday, January 7th.

Letter to my firstborn.

Luci Belle,

How much I've treasured these last three-and-a-half years with just you.  We've had so much fun together, haven't we? 

My first thought is of our hundreds of walks together, first when I carried you nestled in the Moby wrap so I could kiss your head as we walked; then with you happily bobbing on my back in the backpack around the neighborhood or to the nature center; all our stroller walks where you asked me to stop so you could collect a dandelion or a pinecone; navigating your newfound freedom as you wanted to walk or run by yourself. 

We've been artistic together - coloring and painting rocks and rainbows, gluing paper and popsicle sticks.  We've danced and twirled in the living room.  Then you became a ballerina and twirled on your own, asking if you looked beautiful.

We've had lots of cuddles, just the three of us - you, me, and Daddy.  It's these ordinary, everyday moments that are the best.

Being your mommy is so wonderful but it's also a way God refines me. I've had to ask for your forgiveness multiple times for speaking harshly or treating you unkindly, for being too obsessed some days with order and neatness than with embracing the fleeting moments of your childhood.  I've had my share of ugly moments when I let the many ways that we are different cause me frustration.  Thank you for always forgiving me when I've asked you to, and for learning how to repent and be forgiven when you've done things that have hurt others.

The last weeks of my pregnancy are winding down, and things are going to be different soon.  I'll be Mommy to another little girl, and my heart won't love you less, it'll just expand to include her now.  You'll have to share your room, your clothes, and your toys.  You'll have to share Mommy and Daddy's laps and our attention.  But I'm excited for you, because these are all part of being a sibling, and I know you'll be such a loving big sister, as I've seen you be with so many children younger than you.

Other things are going to stay the same.  You'll always be my first baby. You'll always be the first child that opened up my heart to the indescribable joy of motherhood.  And we'll still make sure to have special times together, just us, cuddling or reading books or taking walks.

As we welcome a new little one into our family and embrace this new stage in our journey together as a family of four, I want you to know how wide, how long, how high, how deep is the love of Jesus for you.  I'm so very proud of you - not because of what you've done but because of how you've opened your heart to joy and love and wonder in the people and world around you. 

No matter what you do or who you are, know that I love you...to the moon and stars and all the planets and back, a bazillion times a bazillion.

Love,

Mommy

Favorite Christmas children's books.

My latest post is up on the JellyTelly blog - this was a fun one.  I'd love to know what your favorite Christmas children's books are so I can add more to my collection! 

During these cozy winter nights, one of our family traditions is reading our favorite Christmas books with our daughter before bedtime.  The trick, I’ve discovered, is storing them away the rest of the year and only pulling them out before Christmas so they seem that much more special...{continue reading}

What makes a body beautiful.

After reading my last post, my beautiful, creative friend Linda in Chattanooga sent me a link to this article that I wanted to share with you.   The article says that real beauty is "a soul alive with love and transformed by grace," and that's what drew people to Mother Teresa, a woman who didn't even remotely resemble "model standards" of beauty but who was one of the most beautiful people you could ever see.

Remember when rumors started to fly about whether Mother Teresa's faith was authentic or not, and people began to criticize her?

I love how Anne Lamott says in her book, Help Thanks Wow, "Is it okay yet to love and admire Mother Teresa again?  Can we forget her detractors for long enough to remember that most mornings she was out there on the streets of Calcutta cleaning some person's butt the day before he died, without telling anyone about it?"

It's what Jesus would have done.  I'm sure if any of us had seen Jesus face-to-face we wouldn't have been able to take our eyes off of Him for the beauty that He posessed.  Yet Scriptures say there was nothing really attractive about His physical appearance.

The article goes on...

"[The body] makes visible the truths of our invisible soul, and it makes visible the truths about our invisible God. It communicates who we are to the world as it images the Creator of that world. What makes it beautiful is how well it does that, how perfectly it images the God who formed it."

In my study of the book Captivating by Stasi Eldredge years ago, I remember one phrase that struck me so hard: "What if you have a genuine and captivating beauty that is marred only by your striving?"  Because in the midst of striving, we lose that confidence that comes only through security in the Lord.  Complaining about being unattractive just shows ugliness and discontentment in our spirit, which surely reflects on the outside.

Now, back to twirling with my daughter who has been wearing the same "ballerina" dress for 3 days and has asked me several times a day if she looks beautiful.  It's inside every woman to want to be beautiful - may we all find, though, that the origination of our beauty is internal because of how we are being changed and transformed by grace and love.

You are beautiful.

Today, my eyes were still puffy from a good 'ole pregnancy cryfest last night, my hair was pulled messily into a clip, and the undercurrents of nausea churned in my stomach.  But early in the afternoon, my sweet daughter asked me to come into her playroom to play "hair salon."  In my weariness, I hesitated but then decided to sit down on the carpet and let her begin.  The first thing she said as she removed the clip and ran her fingers through my knotted hair? 

"You are soooo boooootiful, Mommy."

Yes, on a day when I felt the least beautiful, I was reminded quickly by a 3-year-old who, thankfully, does not yet have a knowledge of physical insecurities, what real beauty is.  I immediately felt remorse for thinking otherwise about myself and thankful that I hadn't voiced it outwardly so she could hear.  She was right.  In that moment, real beauty was being myself, being present, sitting on the floor playing hair salon, letting her make my knotty hair even frizzier.

I was recently mailed some stickers and a kind note from an Instagram friend, Rachel, also known as mightyviolet.  I remember receiving them on another day when I felt very not-beautiful, in the middle of my horrific first trimester sickness when I could barely get out of bed much less shower or wear anything that didn't resemble tattered pajamas.   Earlier that day, I had actually said aloud, "I don't think I could possibly feel more unattractive."   Yet, as I removed a sticker from the envelope and held it in my hand for a few moments, I was struck by the truth that I am beautiful despite all the lies I let myself believe.

I was created by God and am precious in His sight and that alone makes me beautiful indeed.

In the envelope were several "you are beautiful" stickers that I'm slowly going through, sending them to other women as I have the opportunity.  As I nestle each one inside a little note, I hope I'm passing on some love and encouragement to another woman who might also have a moment of pause and realize that she, too, is beautiful despite what she or anyone else thinks.

I dread the day my daughter first sees something about her own appearance and disapproves, but it is going to happen.  I remember the moment her perfect little body came out of mine, and it sickens me to think that she could ever see something so intricately created by God as anything less than beautiful.  Yet that's exactly what I do to God when I think or say something self-deprecating.  I imagine the disppointment He must have felt when Eve first expressed shame in the Garden of Eden, hiding her perfect body from the God who created her.  With all of my heart and soul, I do not want to pass on that legacy to my daughter.  I hope she always hears from me that she is beautiful - and that her beauty comes from what she has on the inside that shines outwardly.

Whoever you are, please know today that you are made in the image of God, you are loved, and you are valued for more than how you look.  The battle may start again tomorrow, but for today please remember that you are beautiful.  And that's the truth.

Snail mail exchange: fall edition.

Fall is officially here, and it's time for another snail mail exchange!  Snail mail exchanges #1 and #2 went great ~ I've absolutely loved seeing women across the country {who sometimes don't even know each other} connect through something real and tangible.  And who doesn't love to receive snail mail?!

Here's how it works...

If you decide to participate, I will randomly assign you a snail mail exchange buddy to whom you will send a small, fun snail mail package.  Think handmade, simple, thoughtful.  The point is just sending someone something to make them smile, not spending a ton of money.  And you certainly don't have to make something if you don't feel comfortable with that.  Just think of something YOU would enjoy receiving. 

Ideas:

• Handwritten notes/cards or encouraging quotes/verses
• Items from nature
• Bookmarks
• Something handmade/sewn/knitted
• Tea/coffee
• Simple jewelry
• Lotion/soaps
• School supplies :)

We're all unique, so we'll all include different items in our packages. Obviously.   

**But to be fair, just make sure you send MORE than just a note - include at least a few other things.  Put some effort and thought into it - just don't throw it together the day before the deadline, OK?

So, are you in?

Post a comment below and I'll contact you with details (if you don't know me personally, be sure to include your email address).

** UPDATE AS OF 10/24/13: The snail mail exchange is full for this time around, but please post a comment if you'd like to be contacted when we do the next one.  Thanks!