Releasing to embrace.

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Today is the first day of the Lenten season.  Admittedly, I've never really observed Lent.  But this year, I felt compelled to.  Adding another baby to the family has made our lives wonderfully full.  And with that fullness there is no longer room for everything that was there before. 

The above challenge from my Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) lecture two weeks ago has totally stuck with me...release anything in our lives that prevents us from following Him wholeheartedly.  What should I be releasing?  Following Christ right now means serving my family - my husband and two children - and serving them wholeheartedly, not distractedly.  As I prayed over this, I realized something specific I need to change.  While I love Instagram as a tool to embrace life, I've been scrolling through my Instagram and Facebook feeds mindlessly lately, using them as an escape or distraction.  It's time to take a step back, and this is the perfect time.  So I'll be off Instagram and Facebook until Easter.  I might even quit Facebook altogether when this is over as I've been considering it for awhile.

At any rate, I'm excited about what this frees up for me.  I plan to blog here a bit more - I've really missed it. This time is about sitting down at my computer intentionally to write rather than checking social media mindlessly all throughout the day.  It's a choice that helps me embrace my life and creativity rather than taking away from it.

Our lives right now are beautifully imperfect, yet I feel so peaceful.  Like I said, wonderfully full.  My husband just turned the big 3-5 on Sunday, and we had a homemade pasta dinner {christening his new pasta attachment for the KitchenAid mixer} to celebrate.

He has completely mastered the art of homemade pasta.  I might crown him an honorary Italian.  As we sat down once again with friends around our farm table that he made with his own two hands, I was grateful again that sharing meals together is an important part of our lives, our story.

And this photo taken the same day just makes me smile. No matter how often I tidy up, our living room is chaos, with toys and car seats and burp cloths strewn on practically every surface.  I took a moment to sit on my husband's back with our baby Norah while he did a magnetic world puzzle, and it's just so totally and completely random.  But it's our crazy life that I love.

I hope you'll continue along with me during Lent as we seek to embrace these days more fully.  And please share any insights you have about taking life more slowly - I'd love to know what that means for you.

Inspiration today: art edition.

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I found a random old notebook the other day.  On one of the pages tucked in the middle, I had written the names of four different pieces of art.  I have no memory of when or where I first saw them, but I'm glad I saved that page - it was such an unexpected surprise when I looked them up today.  Such beauty! Maybe one day I'll remember where those notes came from, but for now I'll assume it's because I love color and light, apparently just as much as today as I did then.

Piet Mondrian: Farm Near Duivendrecht (1916)

Wassily Kandinsky: Houses at Murnau (1909)

Emile Bernard: Breton Women At Prayer (1892)

Piet Mondrian: Blue Tree (1909)

To the one who loves me well.

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I meant to post this on Valentine's Day, but computer time is so limited these days.  Seems that today is just as good a day to celebrate...

Today I have to pause and acknowledge the love of this man who's been by my side for almost 10 years now.  Our love has evolved and changed in so many ways during these years, and like any real relationship we've had our valleys.  But I get to say again today that I look at my life and am so thankful for the richness of love that surrounds me...a husband who genuinely loves me and our children well.

In the newborn fog again over here, I've seen with clear eyes how blessed I am to have a husband like him.  Yesterday morning, he told me what happened in the middle of the night (after being awakened by our little Norah).  He said I was fast asleep, snoring (moi??) and he couldn't fall back asleep.  He laid his head on my thigh for 45 minutes, watching me sleep and watching Norah peacefully awake in her co-sleeper bassinet, looking around the room.  He says it without the slightest sense of complaining in his voice, just a man who was treasuring the moment.

And last night, he's the one who quietly and without hesitation partnered with me in the wee hours of the morning once again to rock our little girl back to sleep.  I had been awake with her off and on for hours, as she just couldn't settle down to sleep for any real length of time.  As I finally started to drift off with her cuddled on my chest, I entered that place between awake and asleep and heard him whisper close to my ear, "Norah, did you know you have the most caring mother in the world?"  I didn't feel so selfless at that moment, craving sleep with every bone in my body, and I'm not sure if he knew I could hear it.  But he knew just what to say to encourage me.

Ann Voskamp says, "Marriage and love and time, these are the enormous forces that inevitably chisel and change us into strangers. The springs sag. Mattresses sigh. Marriage changes us into strangers who have to meet again and introduce each other to love."

With each big change in our lives, we have to recapture and reintroduce our love.  That's why I wrote this and why I got this necklace to remind me.  If we're not careful, having a new baby can cause all kinds of distance, but this time we were more prepared.

Ann goes on to say, "They didn’t tell us that at the beginning: The moment you let love into your heart, your heart starts breaking. The only way to stop your heart from breaking is to stop your heart from loving. You always get to choose: either a hard heart or a broken heart. A broken heart is always the abundant heart — all those many beautiful pieces only evidence of an abundant life."

My heart has broken for him and with him.  We've walked through a lot together.  And as they say about life with little ones, "the days are long and the years are short."  Things don't get easier really, they just change. I look at our two darling daughters that we've made together and all I can say is that God is gracious.  He has given me so much more than I deserve.  My only hope is to continue to build an abundant love and life together during these long, rich days and to glorify Him through the love our family holds together. 

Welcome to the world, Norah Jewell Bailey!

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Taking an herbal bath with mama shortly after being born

Our sweet second daughter, Norah Jewell, was born at home on Thursday, January 23, 2014 at 12:47am.  I tried so hard to have her on my dad's birthday (January 22) but it took longer than I thought to push this little one out!

Norah's home birth was an absolutely incredible experience - I can't wait to share it in detail.  I feel so encouraged that the Lord heard my prayers for a successful homebirth VBAC - it was the beautiful, peaceful, healing birth I asked Him for.  It was also one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life, but I feel so empowered that my body did more than I ever knew it was capable of.  I look down at my baby and know that every ounce of effort was worth it to bring this precious soul into the world.

Big sister Luci Belle has been so loving with Norah - I'm so proud of her.  It's still sinking in that I'm a mama of TWO little girls!

More to come soon...

Amber necklaces for grownups.

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Since my daughter was a few months old, she's worn a baltic amber necklace that was supposed to help with teething.  So many other mamas I know swore by them, saying as soon as they took the necklace off, the teething symptoms returned.  We had a tough time with teething even with the necklace, but one thing I noticed was that my daughter never once drooled during teething, except when the necklace wasn't on.  At 3 1/2-years-old, she still wears the necklace and it's still going strong!  We got it from Amber Artisans straight from Lithuania.

Then, recently, I came across these beautiful multi-colored baltic amber necklaces on Etsy for grownups, too - I just had to have this one with the charm engraved with my and Steven's initials and our wedding date.  Isn't it lovely?  I thought it would be the perfect pre-baby gift to myself to not only provide therapeutic benefits from the amber but also remind me to keep our marriage front and center...

The insert explains how baltic amber works.  And bonus, it came with a "you are beautiful" sticker - I first saw these stickers when I received some in the mail from my Instagram friend, mighty violet.  I love adding these stickers randomly to snail mail.  If you like them, you can order some here!

 

Preemptive Love book giveaway ~ a winner!

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I've just randomly chosen the winner of the Preemptive Love book giveaway ~ congrats Lauren Nitschke!  Here's Lauren's response to the question:

What does the phrase "Love first.  Ask questions later" mean to you? 

It's a daunting challenge. And not one I'll master - ever - especially from my own strength. Perceptions are deeply ingrained, even though we try to overlook them and love first. Our pastor's sermon today touched on the woman at the well. I heard something new today, although I've heard, read and discussed this story many times. The fresh news for me was that Jesus was a master of "Love First" but He never HAD to ask questions. He knew the entire back story already. And He Loved First anyway. So why not? Our human brains will never know the whole story, so why make judgements? Why not just skip on to "Love First"? Easier said that done, but I accept the challenge today, Christine. Thank you for this very powerful, thoughtful post.

I love that.  Jesus knew the entire backstory and He STILL loved first.  Yet we are hestitant to love first when we know nothing about a person.  So challenging.

Lauren, I'll be sending you the book very soon.  I hope you'll share your thoughts after you read it and pass it along to someone else when you're done to keep the story going!

Thanks everyone for entering and sharing your thoughts!  Remember you can still get the book for free with any donation on the Preemptive Love website.