We have a winner of the Kangaroo Care babywearing necklace giveaway ~ comment #7: Susan Manes! She'll be using the necklace just to wear and for her sweet 1-year-old daughter to play with. Thanks to everyone for the entries!
If you're still wanting a necklace, visit the Kangaroo Care Etsy shop NOW - they're having a 20% off sale!
A few years ago, I discovered Kangaroo Care on Etsy ~ the artist in Estonia makes beautiful, colorful babywearing necklaces from crochet beads and wood. The textures and colors are interesting for babies and safe for them to play with and chew on while nursing or just being rocked and held. Bonus: you get to directly support the work of an artist.
This is my first Kangaroo Care necklace I got a few years ago when Luci Belle was a toddler.
I wore it when Norah was born, too.
That necklace made me happy, and I wore it for my babies until it was literally threadbare, faded, and the string finally snapped. It was hard to let go of a piece of jewelry that was between me and my children during so many important moments.
It was time for a new one, but I just couldn't decide. I don't do well with too many options, and all the colors were glorious! These are the ones I was drawn to...
I finally decided on the bottom left. It just jumped out to me. For me, when in doubt, the answer is always bright color. It goes with pretty much everything I own, and I - and the girls - couldn't be happier with it!
I also ordered the bottom right necklace in the above photo - the white and grey beads with white ruffle! I'd love to give this necklace away to one of you!
To enter, just post a comment and let me know who the necklace would be for and why - if you'll be giving it to a friend or keeping it for yourself, which is totally great too! I'll randomly choose a winner from the comments on Tuesday, November 25th.
I didn't have a sister growing up and always longed for one. Now I get to witness the wonderful sisterhood developing between these two. Surprisingly, to this day I have never heard Luci Belle say anything mean to or about her sister. She's always happy to see her and to have her around. I know it won't always be that way, but for now I'm soaking in all the sweet innocence that it is!
We all have those days when you just want to go inside a closet and scream at the top of your lungs. I've had several lately - my almost 4-year-old has been going through a big emotional change and has entered a new stage of ear-shattering tantrums.
But this day we had recently...it was just one of those perfect days. Everyone had great attitudes, there was an abundance of sunshine, and it was warm, but not too warm (dare I say, fallish?). My moments were filled with work caring and providing for my family balanced with just "being."
It began with my morning drink, slightly revised for Whole30: hot Yerba maté, warmed coconut milk, 1 date, and unsweetened cocoa powder whipped in the blender until frothy. I added a sprinkle with pumpkin pie spice on top. So yum.
We then packed up the car, double stroller, and all the random thingamajigs that Luci Belle puts in her purse and headed to Klyde Warren Park in downtown Dallas - an unbelievably beautiful place that's part of the Arts District. It's privately operated so it's always super clean and safe - there are even employees walking around and an outdoor library where you can grab books and games to read on-site and return. It was a gorgeous morning, and we seemed to have the entire children's area to ourselves. Klyde Warren really has made Dallas way cooler - it's the perfect city park. Reminds me so much of Hudson River Park in TriBeCa, NYC.
Then, we headed across the street to the Dallas Museum of Art which is totally free now! The "Center for Creative Connection" had all kinds of play/art activities for children. We sifted through buckets of tissue paper, buttons, wire, and tape and made some paper flowers.
There was an interesting exhibit there created by mothers for mothers, asking the question below. Tiny pieces of tile were available where you could write your answer with pencil and then place it on a scale on the "others" or "self" side, or right in the middle. I placed mine in the middle as I thought about how to find more balance.
Seems fitting that we ended up spending the rest of our afternoon doing just that...we found a spot in the sun to rest, play, and soak up some Vitamin D. No matter what our day looks like, it always goes better if we spend time outside.
By the way, my creative, adventurous Luci Belle had another wardrobe change - seems that happens about five times a day lately!
I can't be thankful enough that we have a small grassy area in our backyard now where we can sit and play. It's surrounded by perennials that are friendly to bees and butterflies, like the pair of Monarchs that visits us several times a day.
This girl loves collecting flowers and reminding me the importance of being wild and free. I learn a lot from her.
As we sat in the grass together with our toes touching, she surprised me by saying, "I'm just thinking of all the good things I get to do with you." My heart welled up, because so many days I feel completely inadequate, but I'm glad she remembers the good things.
This little ray of sunshine just sat in the grass happily for awhile, discovering a leaf. What joy she brings to our family! I don't want this baby stage to go away. I'm afraid of not appreciating it enough and it passing me by when I'm not looking.
The evening was filled with all the ordinary every day things that I love - the smells of dinner cooking, the hum of the TV from the living room as my husband was finally home from work and cuddled up with the girls on the couch. After they were in bed (at least for a little bit), I had some quiet time on the back deck under the twinkle lights with a hot cup of tea and was able to finally finish Love Does by Bob Goff. My heart was so stirred by this book - I can't wait to share some thoughts...
Not all days feel this "perfect" ~ that's for sure. But I'm thankful for those that peek through, full of life-giving moments to fuel me for the ones that are more challenging. Now more than ever, I feel that this season of life can be so difficult but so very lovely.
It's all in my perspective how the day will turn out, because we're guaranteed nothing. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." (Albert Einstein)
This day, I chose everything.
I hate missing out on stuff. I've realized that I often say yes to something just so I won't miss out on it, rather than because that particular thing is right for me and my family in our current season. When I am able to say no to certain things - even knowing it's the right decision - I often feel a wave of regret afterwards.
You tracking? Yes, it's enough to drive my own self crazy.
A few weeks ago, I made a very tough decision to say no to participating in Bible Study Fellowship this year. With how much I love BSF, I really agonized over this decision. At the end of the study of the book of Matthew in May, I had my doubts whether I would be able to return in the fall. All summer I kept putting off having to make the decision. Doing BSF the last two years has really brought the Word of God to life for me in a new way, and my group members and leaders have been wonderful. Luci Belle has loved going to "Bible school" since she was 2, and Norah was born in the middle of the Matthew study this past January and welcomed with open arms and adoring looks by all the sweet ladies in my group.
But still, I had this nagging feeling that I didn't feel at peace with enrolling all of us this year.
There are several reasons that I don't need to describe in detail, but overall I felt that my family needs to come first. This tough season of life with two little ones and homeschooling and a baby who doesn't take long naps...well, it was just too much to commit to BSF on top of that. Also, I was not ready to put Norah into childcare this young, even for just a few hours a week.
It's never easy saying no to something that you enjoy, but still today, a few weeks later, I know it was the right decision. Sometimes we say no to something good to make room for something better...for the great things. Sometimes you just have to say no - even to Bible studies or things that are "good."
So this fall and spring, we don't have anything big on our schedule - no big weekly commitment. It's just everyday life here - changing diapers, playing pretend, making pancakes, cooking dinner, trips to the Farmstead, nursing and feeding my baby, homeschooling my 4-year-old, taking as many walks as possible so we can capture the autumn light. And I'm tremendously happy with this.
One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist, is writing a new book called Present Over Perfect. In her blog post describing it she says,
"This is life, this is family, this is the great beautiful brave spectacular adventure that is plain old everyday life, and it promises to remind you over and over that perfect is a myth, and that perfect breaks our backs and breaks our hearts."
Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I love "plain old everyday life," and here are some parts of life I'm saying "yes" to this fall:
My mom gave me a desk calendar several months ago that I've barely looked at. Today I randomly flipped it over and the page before me said,
"I realized that - as much as I wanted to - I couldn't run out the front door of my home, leaving it in a shambles, to go over to the church to do the work of ministry. I came to understand that God has charged me with the stewardship of managing my home, and He uses this primary area of ministry to train me for managing other areas of ministry."
So for now, for this season, I say goodbye to another "good" thing on our to-do list. My Bible study is going to have to look different for now - maybe it's not pages and pages of notes and in-depth study. Maybe it looks more like reading a short passage through She Reads Truth and then journaling a few lines and saying a prayer. Maybe it's having meaningful, engaged, undistracted moments with my 4-year-old, reading the Jesus Storybook Bible aloud to her on the couch with no time limit. Maybe it's practicing the presence of God throughout my day, as I depend on Him to continue to make things new every morning.
A few mornings ago, we went to one of our favorite local hiking places, the Cedar Ridge Preserve, and my friend Erin took this photo. Norah was hamming it up all morning, while Luci Belle and her pal Lawson (Erin's daughter) skipped along the mulched trails together. Right before we crossed over the familiar bridge on which we've photographed our children multiple times, Erin told me to stop and turn so she could take a photo of Norah in the backpack. When I saw it, I realized it was probably the first full-body photo of myself postpartum where I thought, "I really like how I look."
Is it because I have the perfect hair, clothes, or makeup? Absolutely not.
Is it because I've lost all my "baby weight"? No, hardly. I probably have 20+ pounds to go.
Is it because it was staged to make me look good in the moment? No, I didn't even realize I was in the photo until later.
I like this photo because when I look at it, I see a strong woman.
I see a mama who loves to carry her babies and tries to get them outdoors to soak in the sunshine and fresh air.
I see a woman who is becoming stronger everyday.
I see a woman who is continuing to find peace with her body through all its changes.
Most of all, I see a sweet, happy, dependent baby who could care less what size her mother is - there's just love.
It's so easy to be hard on ourselves, especially after our bodies have done - and are doing - the most remarkable thing: growing, birthing, and caring for little ones. But today, I feel a little more kindness towards myself. And that's progress.
It's been 7 months since Norah Jewell entered our lives. Was it really just 7 months ago that I didn't yet know her peaceful personality and pillowy cheeks or the way her dark, wavy hair makes a swirl at the crown of her head? Funny how it seems like pregnancy will never end, and then you move on so quickly to the next stage: raising your new, precious little person.
The birth of my first daughter, Luci Isabelle, didn't exactly go as planned. After spending my entire first pregnancy preparing for a natural birth at a birth center, I ended up with a c-section after 36 hours of labor and never progressing past 5cm. Throughout that experience, I learned a lot about fear and pain and surrender and know that in the end, it was all for a reason and she entered the world the way she was supposed to.
But I still had this innate desire to birth a baby naturally. So when I became pregnant again, I knew I wanted to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section).
From what I understand, VBACs were more popular before c-sections became so common here in the U.S. (30% of births nowadays!), and then as our c-section rate grew, it was generally understood that once you had a c-section, you always had to have one. VBACs have had a resurgence in recent years as women have become more educated and are fighting for the births they desire. VBACs have an overall success rate of 74%, which is pretty amazing. The more research I did, I saw that I didn't have any of the high risk factors and was a great candidate for a VBAC. {This site has a lot of great stats and info on VBACs.}
I also had an awesome midwife on my side - Kathleen Mayorga of Bella Births - who is a nurse practitioner with plenty of hospital experience and great track record of successful VBACs. Kathleen is also the midwife who was with me during most of my labor with Luci Belle. She fought alongside me for a natural birth but is the one who decided we finally needed to go to the hospital. I completely trusted her expertise, especially since she'd been with me the first time and knew what had gone wrong. She completely believed I could do a VBAC this time.
At first, I was pretty firm on wanting to do my VBAC at Kathleen's birth center. Then after watching the documentary "More Business of Being Born" I decided that not just VBAC, but homebirth, was undoubtedly the best plan for me. Kathleen said, "I've never done a VBAC at home that wasn't successful," and after seeing the documentary I understood why. Your home is where you feel most comfortable. If you're low-risk and have a highly experienced birth team and feel comfortable with it, you have an extremely good chance of having a successful VBAC at home. We live 3 minutes from the nearest hospital. Especially with none of the high risk factors, I figured I had the greatest chance for a VBAC in my own, peaceful, familiar environment with a great birth team, where I'd be free to roam around and labor however I was most effective. Kathleen said I had about a 70-80% chance of being able to have a successful VBAC. A lot of it depended on my own mental and emotional state. Was I all-in? Was I willing to do everything she told me to prepare my body for this? Did I really believe I had the ability to birth my baby naturally?
In my heart, the answer to all of these questions was a resounding yes. I wanted so badly for my body to do what it was created to do. I knew there was nothing wrong with my uterus. It was my misaligned pelvis and the position of my first daughter (Occiput Posterior) that prevented her from descending into the birth canal enough to make me dilate fully. As the world-renowned midwife Ina May Gaskin says, "Your body is not a lemon." This sounds strange, but I wanted it all. I wanted to feel everything. I wanted to sense what it was like to push my baby out. I just had this deep feeling that I could do this, that I could have this amazing experience of being full engaged with my baby coming into the world.
In the end, the sweet, wonderful victorious thing is that I was able to have a successful homebirth VBAC with Norah! Besides a lot of centering, surrendering prayer to the Lord, I don't think there was any one thing that made it happen successfully, but a lot of things that all worked together.
Before I go any further, I just want to make it clear that I know a VBAC isn't the best option for everyone. I also have several friends who attempted VBACs and ended up with repeat c-sections. I know that could have been me as well. I'm not assuming that these tips will work for everyone, but I wanted to share what I feel gave me my best chance at having a successful VBAC.
So in hopes of helping others in my same position, here are all the things I did to prepare for my homebirth VBAC. Even if you're choosing a hospital or birth center VBAC, I hope you'll find something here that's helpful.
This was most important to me, because I had to surrender my dreams and wishes to the Lord. He knit Norah together in my womb and was there every minute with me through this pregnancy, from the hours I spent sick on the bathroom floor, to washing and folding her clothes, to seeing her twisting and turning on the ultrasound screen. But I'm not sure if it mattered to God how she would come into the world. Was it His will one way or another - c-section or natural birth? I don't know, but the Bible tells us to approach Him with confidence and persistence and faith, so that's what I did. I asked Him for this gift - for my body to do what He had created it to do. I had peace that I had given Him my heart's desire, and from there, whatever happened would be okay.
One of the biggest mistakes I made when pregnant with Luci Belle was not getting chiropractic adjustments, and I ended up with a misaligned pelvis that wouldn't allow my baby to descend and the inevitable c-section. I wasn't going to make that mistake again. After Luci Belle's birth, we developed an incredible relationship with the folks at Café of Life Chiropractic, and doctors Autumn and Tom Gore have adjusted our entire family since. They are like family to us. Their office is a safe haven, a nucleus of peace and community. So getting adjusted from the beginning of my pregnancy was an absolute must. I said so many times, "I don't know how I got through my first pregnancy without chiropractic care. What was I thinking?" After getting adjusted each time, I just felt so much better. I could tell that my pelvis was open and aligned. I could feel life coursing through me from my head to my toes. And when I had the aches and pains of my bones and ligaments stretching to accommodate this baby, they were immediately relieved after getting adjusted. I highly recommend chiropractic to all pregnant women. Make sure you choose one who is well-versed in dealing with pregnancy and children.
During my first pregnancy I was kinda skeptical of the whole Hypnobabies thing, but then I had several friends who used the audio tracks successfully and had very peaceful births. I found out they had a CD specifically for VBACs which I purchased and listened to every night as I fell asleep. I only remember one time that I was still awake at the end of the CD, but apparently, your subconscious is still soaking in the affirmations even if you're asleep. One phrase on the CD stuck out to me more than all the others, "This is my healing birth." Weeks before the birth, I wrote this phrase on the mirror in my bedroom with dry erase marker. As you'll see later in my birth story, this phrase ended up being very meaningful to me.
Huge pregnant belly. Very energetic 3-year-old. 'Nuff said.
Last time, I was still working from home 8+ hours a day. I sat at my desk every day, all day. I've since read that sitting too much and bad posture in pregnancy can lead to your baby being in an unfavorable position. This time, I wasn't sitting all day; I was movin' (see previous). Also, Norah was positioned correctly and able to descend straight into my pelvis.
The highest risk for uterine rupture in VBACs is among women who were induced into labor because it stresses the uterus. Having felt the effects of that horrific beast, Pitocin, the first time, I in no way, shape, or form wanted to be given anything synthetic to induce my labor. Thankfully, my midwife was just as passionate about helping my labor start naturally or at least with gentle natural methods.
I've mentioned how much I love my doTerra essential oils and have been building an arsenal of them. Then, my dear friend Bre who runs the website Nourishing the Home gave me a wonderful baby shower gift - a labor and birth kit filled with an array of doTerra oils along with scripture cards and bullet points of how to use them. My favorite oil pre-labor was Clary Sage - at 38 weeks, I started diffusing Clary Sage on my nightstand before bed, and not only was it super calming, but it also made me have some Braxton-Hicks contractions which were good practice for my uterus.
I was faithful in taking a good prenatal vitamin, Vitamin C (which my midwife said would help me build a good strong bag of waters), and Carlson's Vitamin D-3 drops throughout my pregnancy, and then in the last several weeks, I took Red Raspberry Leaf in capsules (because no one can drink that much tea) and Evening Primrose Oil. I took as much EPO as possible to prepare my uterus - by mouth as well as internally (email me if you want to know details on that - ha.)
It was essential for me to try erase the fears of my last experience...that because of last time, my body couldn't do it this time, or that I'd be one of the 1% who had something terrible happen. I tend towards being fearful in general, so this had to be addressed. Doing my own research really helped to assuage a lot of these fears. When you're considering a VBAC, the words "uterine rupture" are always at the forefront, either said to scare you, or said to yourself to convince yourself not to do it. Yes, uterine ruptures can happen but from all of my research, I found that the rate was only 1%, and I actually had a greater risk of something going wrong during a repeated c-section (which some people forget is major surgery!) than I did with a VBAC. I also kept telling myself "I am staying out of the hospital this time." In the back of my mind, of course I knew I would go if I had to, in the event of an actual emergency. But building up confidence that I was going to be able to do this outside of the hospital this time was important for me.
~ ~ ~
So there you have it! I truly hope this helps someone have the VBAC they desire. The story of Norah's beautiful healing birth is coming soon...stay tuned.
The Bailey girls love chalk, we just do. And drawing hopscotch on the sidewalk in front of our house is something we do often. The other morning, our chalk fun turned into an impromptu numbers lesson, so I wanted to share. Nothing like totally unplanned learning that seems just like play!
First, I just drew the hopscotch like I normally do, and we played a few times. Then, I told her to close her eyes and choose a piece of chalk from the box.
With the orange piece of chalk she chose, I told her to trace my numbers on the hopscotch and tell me the name of the number as she did it. Her eyes lit up and she was excited to try it.
Then, I had her close her eyes again and choose another piece of chalk (purple this time) and then draw her own numbers next to each of my numbers. This was harder obviously, as she's still learning how to write all of her numbers well. But having already traced them and seeing mine next to hers, it helped a lot.
And that's all! Super simple, but I thought someone else could use the idea. We went back to playing a few more rounds of hopscotch, and it was just another reminder that LIFE LEARNING is fun!
I'm Christine. believer. idealist. writer. artist. treehugger. wife. mama. daughter. sister. friend.
just trying to see the beauty and share with others along the way. {learn more}
"This is your life, this is your real life, and you are living it. Your life is not going to start later. This is it, it is now. It's funny how a person can be so busy that they forget that this is it. This is my life."
~ Lee Smith
