Hello, 2013.

Hello, 2013.  Let's do this. Let's be more organized and more grateful.  Let's read more books.  Let's send more snail mail.

I've created an inspiring little space on the hutch in the butler's pantry where my leafy green 2013 planner can live everyday, safe from toddler hands.  Set on a beaded flower mat, surrounded by smooth river stones from Colorado and a sweet gum tree pod, it's far better than my planner from last year which floated from room to room and is scribbled throughout with a two-year-old's artwork.  I love my daughter's artwork but not in mama's planner, please.

So, I thought I'd share a few of my 2013 goals - none too many or too lofty, but realistic and hopefully inspiring...

1. Plan ahead better on birthdays.  I always turn my calendar page and realize there are birthdays coming up that I haven't planned for.  Even if it's just a handwritten card in the mail, I want to celebrate birthdays better this year. 
2. Send more care packages.  I think it's time for another snail mail exchange!  Snail mail is good for the soul.
3. Learn to knit. I want to make handwarmers and mug rugs and scarves and hats and all kinds of fun things.  A visit to Shabby Sheep might be in order.
4. Read more books.  I'll try to do better than the scant 8 books I read in 2012.  Man, 2010 was a good reading year - all those hours spent rocking and nursing a newborn - 27 books!
5. Sew & embroider more.  Funky curtains for the guest room, pillows and pillowcases, and a "mapron" (man-apron) for Steven.  I've got a lot of projects in my mind that need to become realities, like this adorable typerwriter pocket pillow from the latest issue of Country Living...
   
   
6. Yoga.  I've been saying for the last two years that I want to get back into yoga regularly.  It's time.  There are even mommy + me yoga classes in our neighborhood for $8/class.
7. Make it back to the northeast this summer.  This past August in New Jersey was very healing for me.  I'd love to go for a little less than a month this time, and for our little family to take a drive up to the beautiful Adirondacks in New York state for a few days.
8. 365 days outside.  I was inspired by my Instagram friend Aimee of the blog Wild Boy Yonder who recently posted this - a commitment to be outside every single day for a year.  Here in Dallas, most of the year will be easy, but summer...ouch.  The summer is scorching here, but we can still commit to make it outside every day, if just to play in the sprinkler.

What are some of your 2013 goals, friends?  I'd love to know!

Thirty-five. (30 days of thankfulness - day 22)

On Thanksgiving Day, I celebrated thirty-five years on this earth.  How did that happen?  Wasn't I just turning 25, arriving home from dinner with friends in Nashville, and then stunned by a surprise party at our little abode in Hillsboro Village?  Back then, I was about 85 times tanner than I am now, with bushier eyebrows and a lot more makeup.  I guess I had more to prove then.  I certainly haven't "arrived" and keep discovering more about myself that I want to refine and change.  But there is something about the thirties that has helped me settle into more of who I really am.  And it gives me joy to realize that most of the people who were at that party are still close friends.

I love when my birthday falls on Thanksgiving, because I usually keep forgetting it's my birthday.  This introvert is perfectly fine with that; I'd rather be wrapped up in the wonderfulness of the holiday.  This year we got to spend Thanksgiving weekend with our dear friends Paul and Brooke in smalltown Athens, TX, about an hour from Dallas.  Over the course of this weekend, I was reminded again how much my soul craves smallness, how the love of a small town's simplicity and slower pace of life is deep in my bones.

The day was so memorable from beginning to end.  I was with my husband and daughter, my two best gifts.  It was a coolish breezy fall day, causing brilliant red, orange and yellow leaves to shower down on us the entire day.  A gorgeous table with mismatched chairs was set outdoors; about 20 of us held hands and gathered around for a prayer.  These were precious people who made us feel like part of the family. There were wild red wagon rides, moments in the wooden swing, chalk drawings, and some light drizzle to drive us inside to embrace the coziness.  And at the end, a double rainbow arched across the sky, God's little promise to me.

Another year of this perfectly imperfect life, and I couldn't be more thankful.

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During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.

Sabbath. (30 days of thankfulness - day 11)

"If busyness can become a kind of violence, we do not have to stretch our perception very far to see that Sabbath time – effortless, nourishing rest – can invite a healing of this violence. When we consecrate a time to listen to the still, small voices, we remember the root of inner wisdom that makes work fruitful. We remember from where we are most deeply nourished, and see more clearly the shape and texture of the people and things before us." ~ Wayne Muller

How thankful I am for Sundays - our Sabbath, our family time together.  The book Sabbath by Wayne Muller changed me, and now I must have our quiet, laid-back Sundays to remember who I am, who we are together.

We've now enacted a rule of no TV, DVDs, iPads, or any other form of visual entertainment on the Sabbath.  After fielding about 55 requests from our two-year-old of, "Mommy?  Can I watch sump'in?" I think she's finally catching on that the TV goes night-night on the Sabbath.

There is so much more I want to do as a family to embrace this special time of the week, but at least it's a start.

As I said in an earlier post about Sabbath, "The point is taking my hand off the plow, knowing I can't do it all. Knowing that God can and will work through me, that His strength will be the life that courses through my veins. And that by keeping my focus on the rhythms He gave us in this world, I can truly find rest."

Tonight we ended our Sabbath with a candelit meal that my husband prepared - buttery spaghetti squash smothered in savory meat and mushroom sauce with crusty bread.  It was perfect.

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During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.

Just the two of us. (30 days of thankfulness - day 7)

We've been recapturing the spirit of "Team Bails" lately.  Our "team" mentality was slightly misplaced for awhile in the midst of having a baby and then a very spirited toddler who keeps us on our toes and doesn't allow for much alone time.  It's so easy for it to happen, especially when you have kids and very busy schedules. But "just the two of us" is so important, the biggest priority. God joined us together as one flesh, and that is how it is for life.   Thank God.

~ ~ ~

During the month of November, I'm practicing "30 days of thankfulness" - will you join me?  Use your blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to voice your thankfulness for something every day in November.  My hope is that this daily routine will create in me a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, no matter the day or month or situation.

This moment.

{this moment} - A Friday ritual.

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Inspired by SouleMama

Today I...

...Slept through my 6:30am alarm.  Dashed around the house trying to get myself and my daughter in the car so I could drop her off at a friend's house and make my 9am appointment for a much-needed haircut.

...Kissed and thanked my husband who quickly whipped up a tea latté without my even asking and handed it to me as I was running out the door.

...Dropped my daughter off at my friend Melissa's house where she played with dollhouses and bears and hats and books.  Caught up with my beloved hairstylist/friend Sylvia.  Rejoiced again in how much I love having bangs and wondered where they've been all my life.

...Retrieved my daughter and asked if she wanted to go on a date with Mommy for smoothies.  Her reply: "Ohhh-KAYYYYYYY!"  Headed to Southpaw's for a Chocolate Nutty-Monkey smoothie and Green Gobbler sandwich with watermelon and orange slices and a side of silliness.

 ...Stopped by our store where I always love being on Fridays when new produce is arriving.  Butternut and sweet dumpling squash...swiss chard...sweet potatoes...

...Delivered some tea to a mama friend who was having a rough day.  Sat on the porch with her and her baby girl while my big girl played on the sidewalk barefoot, collecting acorns and berries.

...Stepped over fake play food and wooden tea set on the living room floor and put on Dora The Explorer without shame so I could cook dinner in peace.

...Made this for dinner, but instead of quinoa, I added roasted sweet potatoes and a side of chicken sausage.  Absolutely delish.

...Gave my daughter a bath, during which she asked me to cradle her plastic walrus bath toy in my arms like a baby.  I complied.

...Drank a glass and a half of wine - first, a leftover Syrah and then a Malbec sent over by the aforementioned mama friend as an unecessary but appreciated return gift for the tea.

...Felt excited at the sound of pouring rain outside (finally!) and the momentary flickering of the lights.  Perfect early fall evening.

...Danced in the livingroom with my husband and daughter, twirled until we were dizzy and fell down.

...Read Goodnight, Moon and The Animal "eestra" (Orchestra) three times each before the little one finally drifted off to sleep.

...Reveled in a quiet house after the rest of my family was in bed at 9:05pm. 

...Ate no less than three chocolate chip cookies with my bedtime tea and didn't regret it one bit.

...Realized that not all days are this imperfectly perfect, filled with such glimmering small treasures.  And that's why it's ever so important to celebrate those that are.

Seven years. And counting.

On our wedding day as I walked down the "aisle," a grassy hill scattered with flower petals, our dear friends Chris and Julie Bennett sang these words,

Oh the wonderful cross
Oh the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find
That I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross
Oh the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace
Draw near and bless your name

And those lines have been the story of our marriage thus far.  Dying to live, huddling close, being sheltered by those dear ones in our lives.

Photo by Jeremy Cowart

From my husband, I have been taught patience when all I wanted to do is crawl out of my own skin.  He's taught me joy - that walking with Jesus far surpasses any "freedoms" this world has to offer.  And love. Not just the quick passing kind that's said as you're headed out the door; the kind of love that bolsters you, holds you up, when nothing else makes sense.  The kind of love that fiercely bids the light to come and combat the darkness.

We've had to give up so much, he and I, over the last seven years, gone through trials that should have wrecked us time and time again.  But I can honestly say looking back that we've been given so much more than we ever asked for.  And I know as the years go by, God will restore and rebuild even more than what has been taken.

Years ago, before I met the man I was going to marry, I asked my sister-in-law the secret to a happy marriage.  One of the things she said I've always remembered: "It's about choosing to stay in love, choosing to stay together."  Basically, it takes a lot of work and intention.  That means we've kept working at it, staying positive when arrows were thrown at us, when we lost all our money, when relationships failed, or when our business struggled.  Yes, we've walked through the pain, questioned God and begged for mercy and miracles and peace.  And - often in very unexpected ways - we've always received them.  Then we dust ourselves off and get back up again.

In a card Steven gave me on my last birthday were these priceless words:

"As we search to discover how we can love each other more during this new journey in our life, I'm blessed to look over at you and know that you are a constant in my life.  When family things and friend things and money things countinue to pound like heavy waves you are always within reach.  That comfort and commitment is nothing short of a miracle."

So, happy 7 years to my baby daddy, my BFF, the love of my life.  The "7 year itch" can just keep walkin' on by, because it's not welcome here, in this marriage.  The Baileys are just getting started.

What is saving my life right now.

I absolutely loved this post from Sarah Bessey: In which this is saving my life right now.  And apparently, a lot of other people did too (like my friend Allison), which sparked Sarah to create a syncroblog where other bloggers can share their own answers to the question, "What is saving your life right now?"

So I'm supposed to tell you quickly, without overthinking it, just spilling it out...

• This trip to New Jersey, where I am for the whole month of August, is absolutely saving my life right now.  It's been a hard day - a hard year - emotionally.  As strange as it can be to return "home" for an extended period of time after becoming an adult, there are those wonderful moments when you can become a child again.  Tonight, my mom reminded me of something an old friend said that she never forgot - "When you cry, I cry." She's the kind of mom who does that, not just for her children, but for everyone.
  

• Heart friends who share burdens with me and rejoice with me and send a little text message to say "I love you" save me when the whole world seems like it's going out.  Which is often for an INFJ like myself.

• My sweet little girl whose smile and passion and compassionate heart bring so much joy to my every day.  Her newest exclamation, "Look at THIS!" makes me giggle every time - as she points to a kitty crossing her path, or a butterfly fluttering around the pool, or a squirrel in the back yard. 

• I don't know how much longer she will be nursing, as she's a big two-year-old now, but I'm happy to continue providing that for her a little longer.  She came from my body, and the special bond and quietness we share during this time is so fleeting...

• A husband who understands me and encourages my dreams and creativity.  The other day in the Marimekko store in NYC, I was swooning over all the beautiful fabrics.  I was thinking, "Wow, those are beautiful but too expensive, so let's go," but he said, "Could you make something fun with just 1/2 yard?"  I left with two 1/2 yards of different fabrics that happened to be on sale as well as the personal email address of the sales girl who helped me, another creative soul who loves to sew and secretly cut me a little more than she was supposed to of the dandelion fabric so I'd have enough to make pillowcases.

• Salty caramel gelato inside a crunchy waffle cone on a warm summer day - not just because it's delicious but because I chose not to think of the sugar content and just enjoy every last sweet, melty bite.  I swear, something is magical about gelato from Eataly - I cannot stop thinking about it.

• Trees with hearts in them.  Especially because those same trees were trimmed today, and the heart shape is no longer there.  But in my memory, it is.
• Cooler weather.  Leaving 107 degrees, I almost wept when the first 80* breeze swept across my face, closed my eyes, soaked it in.
• Joyrides in my mom's Jeep with the top off and wind blowing my tangled hair, driving past frolic-worthy fields so beautiful you have to veer the car over to the shoulder to snap a photo.

• But, I think what's saving my life the most right now is this simple truth, which I've written about time and time and time again:

I am not alone, not alone, never alone.

Thank you, Jesus. My introverted self can get so deep into my head, into my thoughts, and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning.  But those compassionate hands of my God, and the skin-and-bones people here on earth whom God uses as His hands, reach down and literally pull me out.  Time and time again, I'm thankful for grace and second chances and that His mercies are new every morning.

What is saving your life right now?  Please, join in.